It warmed my heart immensely when a few days ago a young relative of ours expressed his gratitude to us. He came to the United States in 2006 when he was in his early 20s. We helped him with school applications here and provided other types of help for him to complete his study. I'm delighted to see him growing into such a mature, grateful and responsible individual now.
He was a different person in 2006. Back then, I remember every time I offered some advice to him, he would blurted out "I know. I know. I know. No need to tell me..." It sounded like a direct affront to my good intentions. Of course he was still a child. I never took it to heart.
This should give some hope to parents who think their children are rude and disrespectful. They are still immature. In due time, they will grow up, become mature and different persons. Just be patient.
Here's a Chinese saying that I hope people can take it to their hearts. It is a super great advice if you want to be nice. "有则改之，无则加勉" (Yǒu zé gǎi zhī, wú zé jiā miǎn). The literal meaning is: "Correct it if you have this problem, prevent it if you don't have it."
This saying applies to occasions when someone either criticizes you or gives you advice. Your positive attitude should be "有则改之，无则加勉", instead of starting a self-defense mode or like my relative in 2006.
You may ask, what's the big deal about this attitude? It's all about acknowledging the good intentions in others, about giving credit to the person who cares enough to tell us what he honestly thinks, and most importantly, about being a PLEASANT human. Because a direct affront can be annoying to many people.