8/27/2026
Recently, a friend shared with me a story about Joshua Kushner that made me think about what parents really pass on to their children.
Joshua Kushner's grandparents survived the Holocaust in Nazi Germany and came to the United States. They deeply valued the opportunity to live in a free country. They endured extraordinary hardship, worked very hard, and eventually accumulated substantial wealth.
Joshua's parents, the second generation, grew up in an immigrant family and witnessed their parents' struggles. They built upon what their parents had created and continued to carry forward the family's ambition and determination.
Joshua, although a third-generation American, grew up with a strong family narrative about determination, resilience, self-improvement, and making something of oneself. He said, “I grew up in an immigrant family,” and what he seems to mean is that he grew up not simply in a family of immigrants, but in a family shaped by immigrant culture and values.
What impresses me most about the Kushner story is not what Joshua inherited in terms of wealth, but what he seems to have inherited besides wealth.
Besides money, his family passed down a way of thinking and a set of value: the importance of hard work, perseverance, ambition, and the determination to build something for oneself.
The story reminds me of a Chinese saying: 富不过三代 (fù bù guò sān dài)
“Wealth does not last beyond three generations.”
Here's the story behind this saying.
The first generation starts with very little and works relentlessly. They buy a home, build a business, save money, and eventually become prosperous.
Then comes a natural parental decision:
“My children shouldn't have to go through what I've been through.” So they give their children everything they themselves never had.
The intention is loving. But there is an irony.
The children may inherit the fruits of their parents' hard work without learning the values and experiences that created that wealth in the first place.
By the third generation, the grandchildren may continue to enjoy the wealth accumulated by their parents and grandparents while becoming increasingly removed and alienated from the struggles that created it.
In the end, as the saying goes, wealth disappears after three generations because the values that created the wealth disappear first.
Money can survive for a while. But if the ability to create, preserve, and grow wealth is not passed on, eventually the wealth itself becomes exhausted.
This is what I find interesting about the Kushner family. Their story suggests that there is something more valuable to pass from one generation to the next than wealth: the character and values that built the wealth in the first place.
We can pass these values on to our children even if they never have to experience the poverty, insecurity, or suffering that earlier generations experienced.
We don't need to recreate hardship for our children. But in protecting them from hardship, we should be careful not to deprive them of the experiences that teach independence, persistence, gratitude, responsibility, and resilience.
And perhaps most importantly, we should make sure that a comfortable life does not become a sense of entitlement and children don't take what is given to them for granted.
Many immigrant parents work hard to give their children a better life. But the greatest inheritance may not be money, but the values that created it—discipline, courage, perseverance, and resilience.
Money can make a child's life easier. Values can make a child strong and capable and make money last beyond third generation.
Perhaps that is the better legacy to leave behind.