Yanwen’s blog

9/19/2026

This is the fourth piece about David Phillips’s book High on Life: How to Naturally Harness the Power of Six Hormones and Revolutionize Yourself.

Today I'll talk about another chemical in Phillips's framework: oxytocin (催产素), often called the “bonding hormone” or “love hormone.” Oxytocin is a hormone and neuropeptide produced in the hypothalamus and released into the bloodstream by the pituitary gland. It also acts in the brain as a signaling chemical.

Oxytocin is involved in several important aspects of human life:

1. Social connection and trust. It is involved in feelings of closeness, empathy, and trust and plays a role in forming attachments, including parent-child bonds, romantic relationships, and close friendships.

2. Childbirth and breastfeeding. It stimulates uterine contractions during labor and helps trigger milk letdown during breastfeeding.

3. Stress regulation. Oxytocin interacts with the body's stress systems and may contribute to feelings of calm and safety, particularly in supportive social situations.

4. Social recognition. It is also involved in how we recognize and respond to familiar people and social cues.

In other words, oxytocin is closely connected with one of our most basic human needs: to feel connected and safe with other people.

You may have experienced something like this. After a hectic day, you come home feeling stressed and exhausted. You hug someone you love, sit down together, and talk for a while. Gradually, you begin to relax.

Of course, many things are happening at the same time, but physical touch and positive social interaction can activate systems in the brain and body that are involved in bonding and stress regulation, including oxytocin.

It is almost as if your body is receiving a message: This is a safe place. These are people I can trust. I can let my guard down.

We can also deliberately create more of these moments in our everyday lives.

When spending time with children, for example, we can hold their hands, hug them, pat their backs, or simply sit close to them. Physical touch provides the brain with a whole set of signals associated with connection and safety. The same can happen when we hug someone we love, hold hands, show kindness, or spend time with a pet. These seemingly small actions can strengthen our sense of connection and well-being.

But there is an interesting qualification. Oxytocin is not simply a chemical that makes us universally loving and trusting. Research suggests that its social effects can be highly dependent on context. In some circumstances, it may strengthen attachment to people we already identify with while increasing vigilance or defensiveness toward outsiders.

So perhaps the lesson of oxytocin is human beings are built for connection.

In a world where so much of our communication happens through screens, online, we sometimes forget how powerful a hug, a hand held, a warm conversation, or simply sitting beside someone can be.

Sometimes, what another person needs most is a simple message from our presence:

You are not alone. You are safe with me.

Finally, a song comes to me, "...Lean on me, when you're not strong

9/18/2026

This is the third piece about David Phillips’s book High on Life: How to Naturally Harness the Power of Six Hormones and Revolutionize Yourself.

Today I'll talk about another chemical in Phillips’s framework: endorphins (内啡肽). One of the feelings he associates with endorphins is relief.

If dopamine functions like a gas pedal, helping motivate you to start running and reach your goal, endorphins can act more like a painkiller and a reward cushion, helping you cope with some of the discomfort that comes with exertion.

The two can work together. You may feel motivated when you think about going for a run. As you exercise, your body activates systems that help reduce the sensation of pain and discomfort.

Endorphins are natural chemicals produced by the brain and pituitary gland. They are part of the body's broader endogenous opioid system, which plays an important role in regulating pain, discomfort and other physiological processes.

You may have experienced something similar when you first start running or swimming. Your legs ache, you are out of breath, and your whole body seems to be telling you, You're tired. Stop.

When I was young, people sometimes called this 假疲劳—“false fatigue”—meaning that the initial discomfort might ease if you continued exercising for a while. There is some truth to the experience, although not every sensation of fatigue should simply be pushed through.

As exercise continues, especially when it becomes more intense, the body responds to the temporary physical stress in various ways. Among them is the activation of pain-relieving systems, including the endogenous opioid system, which can reduce the perception of discomfort.

This suggests an interesting way to regulate our emotions.

When we are in a bad mood or feeling uncomfortable, our first instinct may be to lie down, withdraw, or do nothing. But sometimes, instead of waiting for our mood to improve, we can give our bodies a small, manageable challenge: take a brisk walk, jog for a few minutes, swim, or do another form of exercise that raises our heart rate.

The goal is simply to get the body moving and give it something else to respond to.

Laughter is another interesting example. Research suggests that genuine laughter can activate the body's endogenous opioid system. In other words, laughter may be more than an outward expression of happiness; the act of laughing itself may contribute to how we feel.

Sometimes we don't laugh because we are happy. Sometimes we laugh first, and feeling better comes afterward.

Perhaps that is one of the simplest lessons from endorphins: we don't always have to wait for our feelings to change before we act. Sometimes, changing what we do can help change how we feel.

When your mind says, “I don't feel like doing anything,” maybe it's time to stand up and take a walk.

Finally, here's a progression across the first three hormones:

• Dopamine: I want to do it.

• Testosterone: I dare to do it.

• Endorphins: I can get through it.

  

9/17/2026

Yesterday I talked about Seasonal Affective Disorder and David Phillips’s book High on Life: How to Naturally Harness the Power of Six Hormones and Revolutionize Yourself.

Today, I want to dwell a little on the next chemical in Phillips’s framework: testosterone (睾酮).

If dopamine is associated with the feeling of “I want to do it”—motivating us toward rewards—testosterone, in Phillips’s framework, is more closely associated with the feeling of “I dare to do it.”

Imagine that you have trained for years to perform a difficult dive. Just as your turn comes, you suddenly feel your legs shaking. You lose your nerve and decide not to jump. That's because you need more testosterone.

This is where the idea of testosterone as a “confidence hormone” comes in. Testosterone is often associated with behaviors and experiences such as competition, exercise, and winning and losing. 

Phillips also suggests that we can sometimes influence how we feel through what we do physically. In other words, instead of waiting for confidence to appear, we can use our bodies to help create a more confident state of mind.

For example, before an important speech, Phillips uses a pre-performance routine. He might stand up, walk around, and adjust his breathing. These simple physical actions can help him feel more prepared and confident before stepping onto the stage.

So the next time you have to do something that makes you feel insecure or nervous, instead of repeatedly telling yourself, “I need to be confident,” try getting your body moving first. Stand up. Walk around. Take a few deep breaths. Do a few push-ups if that works for you.

The point is not that a few push-ups will magically increase your testosterone or eliminate fear. The point is that our bodies and minds influence each other. Sometimes action can come before confidence, rather than the other way around.

We don't always have to wait until we feel brave before stepping onto the stage.

Sometimes, we step onto the stage first—shoulders back, head up, taking the first step—and let courage catch up with us.

More on this tomorrow...

9/16/2026

Earlier this month, I wrote a piece about the seasonal memories associated with going back to school. For a long time, perhaps dating back to my own elementary school years, I have had a special fondness for summer—the lazy summer days of catching dragonflies, playing outdoors, and simply doing nothing in particular.

Autumn, on the other hand, has always made me feel a little down. Perhaps it is the sight of leaves falling and nature preparing for winter dormancy in late autumn and early winter. For a long time, I thought I was simply one of those people who felt this way. Later, I learned that there is a medical term for a recurring seasonal change in mood: Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Some people even use medication to help manage its symptoms.

When it comes to regulating our emotions, many non-medication approaches involve changing our thoughts, reframing how we see things, and learning to accept our emotions.

This reminds me of David Phillips's book High on Life: How to Naturally Harness the Power of Six Hormones and Revolutionize Yourself.

Phillips discusses six chemicals closely related to our emotions, motivation, and mood: dopamine (多巴胺), testosterone (睾酮), endorphins (内啡肽), oxytocin (催产素), serotonin (血清素), and cortisol (皮质醇).

Dopamine (多巴胺) is closely associated with motivation, focus, and reward-seeking behavior. When the dopamine system is activated, we may feel, “I want to do it.” The important word here is want.

One important function of the dopamine system is its role in reward prediction—our brain responds not only to a reward itself but also to the anticipation that a reward is coming.

Think about our to-do lists. There are many things we know we should do, but don't really want to do. So how can we turn “I should” into “I want”?

Phillips suggests giving the brain something to look forward to. Instead of focusing only on the final reward, we can create small expectations and positive feedback along the way.

For example, if you want to go running, choose a route you really enjoy in advance and your favorite songs. Perhaps you can look forward to the scenery, listen to your favorite music, or plan to stop somewhere you like afterward.

In other words, plant a few small hooks in the future.

Maybe motivation is not always something we have to wait for. Sometimes, we can create a reason for our brain to look forward to what comes next.

More on these chemicals tomorrow...

9/15/2026

Yesterday I wrote about “搭子” (dāzi). From sociological perspective, this reveals some competing desires:

1. The human need for connection — people don't want to be completely alone. They want someone to eat with, exercise with, travel with, talk with, or share an interest with.

2. The desire for autonomy and freedom — they want freedom from the obligations, expectations, emotional demands, and potential conflicts that come with a long-term relationship, and desire for diversity in their social life. 

“Dazi” allows people to have different people for different experiences rather than expecting one friend—or one partner—to meet all their social needs.

No single lightweight relationship has to become boring, demanding, or all-consuming.

At this point I think of the young relative of mine who broke up with his girlfriend last year. Perhaps 12 years together had created a familiarity which can be boring and causing him to seek novelty outside the relationship.

We don’t know whether this preference for lightweight socializing is simply a response to modern life—or reflects a broader change in how people think about relationships.

Whatever the explanation that we may have, I think there is a cost for chasing freedom, variety and novelty. We may be losing something that can only be created through staying with the same person for a long time.

Finally, Dazi may offer freedom from the burdens of traditional relationships, but some of the things we value most in human relationships—trust, intimacy, loyalty, and being truly known—are built precisely through those burdens and will last longer than this modern trend.