Yanwen’s blog

7/12/2026

I read the news that the European Union formally accused Meta on July 10, 2026, of violating the Digital Services Act by designing Facebook and Instagram in ways that the EU says encourage addictive use, particularly among teenagers.

According to the European Commission, two features are of particular concern: infinite scrolling and autoplay videos. The EU argues that these are nothing but psychological hooks that encourage users to keep scrolling almost automatically, putting their brains on "autopilot." The concern is especially great for children and teenagers, whose self-control and decision-making abilities are still developing.

The Commission also argues that Meta has not done enough to protect minors. It says parental controls are too complicated to use, can be easily bypassed by teenagers, and that stronger measures are needed to prevent children under 13 from creating accounts.

Meta disagrees. The company says it has already introduced "Teen Accounts" with built-in protections, including nighttime restrictions and daily screen-time limits, and says it will continue to work with regulators.

Whatever the legal outcome, the case raises a much larger question for all parents.

The issue is no longer simply how much time children spend online, but how digital platforms are intentionally designed to keep them there. Infinite scrolling and autoplay are designed to remove the natural stopping points that once existed when reading a book, watching television, or even browsing the early internet. Instead of asking ourselves, "Should I keep going?" we simply continue.

Perhaps the most significant aspect of this case is the precedent the EU hopes to establish. Rather than treating excessive screen time solely as a matter of individual self-control or parental responsibility, regulators are asking whether business models built around maximizing users' attention should also bear responsibility for the effects they have on children.

For parents, the lesson is clear. The most important question may no longer be whether children use social media, but whether adults understand how these platforms are designed to capture and hold a child's attention infinitely. Recognizing that design is the first step toward helping children use technology wisely rather than being used by it. 

Finally, people do not make choices in a vacuum; institutions and environments influence those choices. Our responsibility is to help children choose wisely.

7/11/2026

Two days ago I read these words by UN Secretary General Antonio Guterres:

"AI is impacting our children’s learning, their friendships, and how they view the world. And we are already seeing the cost:

Children deceived by machines posing as friends. Children steered toward self-harm. Children violated by abuse images made at the touch of a button. No child should be a guinea pig for unregulated AI."

Like all technologies before AI, television, smartphones, and social media, they all have the power to change human childhood. Also like all these technologies, there's no way that children can get away from it. Already children are using AI for homework, entertainment, and other activities.

Unlike earlier technologies, conversational AI can convincingly imitate human conversation and empathy. Younger children may therefore be more likely to perceive it as a real friend.

Childhood is a critical period for forming emotional attachments that lay the foundation for healthy relationships throughout life. If children spend too much time with AI companions without proper guidance, they may become emotionally dependent on them.

Young children may easily mistake an AI for a trustworthy friend. They often lack the maturity to distinguish good advice from poor advice or to recognize the limitations of AI. Once they begin to trust an AI companion, they may also be more willing to share highly personal information, putting their privacy and safety at risk.

The range of potential risks becomes much broader than many parents realize.

Ideally, companies design products with children's safety in mind. Profit never comes at the expense of child welfare. But we don't live in an ideal world.

I worry for parents everywhere, and that is not groundless. The risks are real, but as always, panic is not the answer.

What can parents do effectively? Here are a few practical things that they can try.

• Don't let AI replace human relationships.

• Use AI together with children rather than leaving them alone with it.

• Teach children that AI is a tool created by humans, not a friend.

• Carry one plenty of real life conversations—with parents, siblings, friends, grandparents, teachers.

• Set age-appropriate boundaries on AI use.

• Teach children to question what AI tells them, just as they would information from the internet.

• Make sure children know they should tell a trusted adult if an AI conversation makes them uncomfortable or frightened.

Parents cannot shield children from every new technology, but they must be present with the children and provide something no machine can: love, guidance, judgment, and genuine human companionship. Children who grow up surrounded by caring relationships are far less likely to seek emotional substitutes elsewhere.

Like what I've been writing about, human well-being depends on real relationships. AI adds a new dimension to that timeless truth. The technology is new, but our deepest human needs—for family, belonging, emotional attachment, and authentic connection—have not changed. With the arrival of AI, parents can ensure that no AI companion ever replaces the warmth, guidance, and security that only a family can provide.

7/10/2026

Two days ago, a friend shared a new internet term with me: "Beng Laotou" (崩老头). It was the first time I had ever heard it.

I looked it up. In this context, beng is northern Chinese internet slang meaning to deceive, exploit, squeeze money from, or monetize someone. Laotou does not literally refer to elderly men. Instead, it generally describes middle-aged men with stable incomes who are emotionally lonely or vulnerable.

Together, Beng Laotou refers to exploiting such men through emotional manipulation for financial gain. The typical targets are financially secure but emotionally isolated men who are willing to spend money on online companionship.

The term immediately reminded me of a crime I read and wrote about in late 2023.

The case involved a 78-year-old retired Chinese American man and his 73-year-old wife in Connecticut who lost millions of dollars in an elaborate online investment scam, putting their family home at risk.

It all began with what appeared to be an innocent text message. The sender claimed to be a young Chinese woman who had texted the wrong number. Somehow she persuaded the man to continue chatting. Over the next three months, they exchanged messages daily. Although they had never met in person, he came to regard her as a trusted friend. Eventually, she convinced him to borrow and invest millions of dollars in what turned out to be a fraudulent cryptocurrency scheme and lost all his life savings.

Criminologists now recognize this pattern as a romance scam or, when it involves fake investments, a "pig butchering" scam (杀猪盘).

The scheme always starts with friendly conversation, gradually builds emotional trust over time, and only then introduces an investment opportunity or financial request.

The scammers exploit one of our most fundamental human needs: the desire to be seen, heard, valued, and connected. Money is the ultimate objective, but emotional trust is the bridge that gets them there.

The term Beng Laotou reflects a growing awareness on Chinese social media that financially secure but emotionally isolated middle-aged men are increasingly being targeted in this way.

To me, this points to something much broader than online fraud. It highlights the importance of close family relationships and strong social connections, especially as people grow older. Loneliness can make people more vulnerable to manipulation. Staying connected to family, friends, and community may be one of the best protections against scams that prey on emotional isolation.

7/9/2026

Yesterday, a friend in Kansas told me that his daughter plans to spend the month before starting college learning the guzheng, a Chinese music instrument. She already plays both the piano and the flute.

I shared with him the article I wrote on July 4 about music and brain health and mentioned that I'm learning the piano myself. He replied, "We should be doing it now."

Then he added: "In fact, writing is also good for preventing dementia, more effective than piano." That was encouraging to hear, since writing comes naturally to me while learning the piano is proving to be much more challenging.

His comment reminded me of something else I recently read.

Recent research suggests that health is often a family characteristic, not simply an individual one. One study identified different "family health climates," ranging from Flourishers, who consistently maintain healthy eating and regular physical activity, to Survivors, who struggle with both.

Other studies have found that family members often share risks for hypertension, diabetes, obesity, and other chronic diseases. Part of that is genetic, but part reflects the environments families create together. Eating habits, physical activity, and even body weight tend to be similar among parents, children, and siblings. Healthy habits—and unhealthy ones—often spread through families.

This reminded me of one relative family. One member has struggled with diabetes, heart disease, stroke, cancer, and other chronic illnesses. Another member has other health issues. The burden is not carried by any individual alone; it affects the well-being of the entire family.

Whether we're talking about learning another language, listening to music, exercising regularly, or simply eating healthier meals, the underlying message is consistent: our behavior is often influenced by the people around us.

Families as one social group don't simply share genes. They also share routines, expectations, habits, values, and culture. Those shared patterns can influence health throughout a lifetime.

A family is a team. When one family member adopts a healthier lifestyle, it often encourages others to do the same. Healthy habits can spread through a family by example. As each person benefits, the whole family benefits. And when a family builds a culture of healthy living together, everyone has a better chance of living a longer, healthier, and happier life.

7/8/2026

Yesterday, while having lunch, I was listening to the Odyssey story. After that, I was wondering the epic story was written over 2000 years ago, what is it that makes it still popular today?

For a brief summary, The Odyssey, attributed to the Greek poet Homer, begins after the Trojan War. Odysseus, king of Ithaca, spends ten years struggling to return home after offending Poseidon, the god of the sea. Along the way, he encounters mythical dangers—the Cyclops, the enchantress Circe, the Sirens, and many others. 

Meanwhile, back in Ithaca, his wife Penelope faithfully waits for him while fending off suitors who have taken over his household, and his son Telemachus searches for news of his missing father. At last, with the help of the goddess Athena, Odysseus returns in disguise, defeats the suitors, reunites with his family, and finally comes home after twenty years away.

For all his heroic deeds, after victory and glory, what Odysseus longed for most was simply returning home -- the place where he belonged.

More than 2,700 years have passed since Homer told Odysseus's story, yet its emotional appeal hasn't changed. Today we may travel farther than ever before, build successful careers, or seek adventure in distant lands. But somewhere deep inside us remains the same longing—to return to the place, and the people, where we belong.

As I wrote those words, I found myself thinking again about the Korean clinician who visited us on July 1. She had left her home and family behind to build a new life in America. Living here alone, thousands of miles from her parents in Korea, she spoke with a sadness that many first-generation immigrants would recognize.

I also thought of a friend here in America. His daughter will start college this fall. This summer, he took her back to China to visit relatives and reconnect with family roots. In a way, it was his own version of a homecoming—not because he was returning permanently, but because he wanted his daughter to know where she came from.

Odysseus spends ten years trying to get home after the war. Many immigrants spend decades trying to reconcile two homes—the one they left behind and the one they have built. 

Finally, east or west, home is best. Home is the symbol of belonging. That's why it resonated with the Korean clinician and why The Odyssey has never grown old after nearly three millennia. The story endures because, despite all the changes in civilization, that human longing has remained unchanged.