This morning my online piano tutor sent me a practice checklist in Chinese. It was thoughtful and practical, so I translated it into English immediately.

As I read through it, I realized it was much more than piano practice. The checklist captured principles that apply to many complex tasks in life and at work. In fact, effective piano practice mirrors how we learn, build skills, and make steady progress in almost any field.

First, a long musical piece, for example, is like a big project. Some look intimidating at first—too large to conquer in one sitting. You can’t master an entire piece all at once. Instead, you break it into small sections, phrases, or even just a few notes, and work on them patiently.

The same approach applies when writing a paper or tackling a big project. You start with an outline, then a rough opening, then a first paragraph, and slowly build toward a full draft. Even something as ordinary as cleaning a house follows the same logic: one corner, one room, one step at a time. Progress comes from moving forward steadily through manageable small pieces.

Second, effective practice also requires clear goals. In piano, that might mean working on the right hand in measures 12 to 16. In other areas of life, it could be memorizing ten new words a day or finishing one small task before moving on to the next. Clear goals focus our attention and give each session a sense of direction.

Third, just as important is how we repeat with focused mind. Running through a piece mindlessly is self-deceiving. Real improvement comes from focused repetition—listening carefully, adjusting fingering, correcting rhythm, and refining tone. This is true whether you’re studying, training your body, or learning any complex skill. Quality repetition is what builds something solid.

Fourth, quality feedback plays a critical role as well. When we write, we revise. We look for what doesn’t work and try again. Piano practice depends on the same feedback loop: noticing mistakes, accepting them honestly, and making corrections. Improvement requires both humility and patience.

Sixth, there is also the discipline of slowing down. Before increasing the tempo, a new piece must be played slowly and accurately. Rushing through the basics only results in weak skills. In many areas of life, accuracy must come before efficiency.

Finally, piano practice reminds us that consistency matters more than intensity. Thirty minutes of daily practice produces better results than four hours once a week. Many things that truly matter—health, learning, saving, relationships—depend on small, regular efforts that compound over time.

What struck me most about my tutor’s checklist was its wisdom. There are no shortcuts or dramatic breakthroughs. Instead, it pointed to something more reliable: steady attention, clear goals, honest feedback, and daily commitment. Whether at the piano or in life, progress is rarely dramatic. It is built note by note, bit by bit, day by day, through practices so ordinary that we often underestimate their power.

This morning, my online piano tutor gave me a daily practice checklist. Below are the original Chinese version, its English version, and a checklist-style version.

✅ 1. Warm-Up (5 minutes)

☐ Sit with correct posture (bench height, relaxed shoulders)
☐ Relax hands and wrists
☐ Gently stretch fingers and rotate wrists
☐ Play 5-finger patterns slowly (C major recommended)

✅ 2. Finger & Technique Basics (10–15 minutes)

☐ Practice scales (start with C major, hands separately)
☐ Focus on correct fingering
☐ Play slowly and evenly
☐ Keep fingers curved and wrists relaxed

Optional:
☐ Simple Hanon or beginner technical exercise

✅ 3. Note Reading & Rhythm (5–10 minutes)

☐ Read a short new passage
☐ Name notes aloud while playing
☐ Clap rhythms before playing if needed
☐ Use a steady tempo (metronome optional)

✅ 4. Repertoire Practice (15–20 minutes)

☐ Practice 1–2 short pieces
☐ Break difficult parts into small sections
☐ Practice slowly first
☐ Repeat each section 3–5 times
☐ Focus on accuracy before speed

✅ 5. Musicality (5 minutes)

☐ Play dynamics (loud / soft)
☐ Shape phrases naturally
☐ Listen to tone quality
☐ Avoid playing mechanically

✅ 6. Review & Cool Down (5 minutes)

☐ Play a familiar piece for enjoyment
☐ Note difficult spots
☐ Decide what to focus on tomorrow
☐ End with relaxed hands

⭐ Beginner Practice Tips

• Quality > quantity

• Slow practice builds speed

• Stop if hands feel tense or tired

• Consistency matters more than long sessions

The English version:

1. Pre-Practice Preparation (5 minutes)

Clarify objectives:
Quickly review the pieces to be practiced and set specific goals, such as mastering a difficult scale passage in a piece or improving rhythmic stability in an étude.

Warm up the fingers:
Perform simple finger stretches and joint-mobility exercises, such as making and releasing a fist, moving the fingers side to side, and rotating the wrists. This helps warm up the muscles and joints of the hands and prepares them for focused practice.

2. Sectional Practice (30 minutes)

Break down difficulties:
Divide the piece into smaller sections, especially focusing on previously identified problem areas. For example, in a complex sonata, break the difficult movement into individual phrases.

Slow, detailed practice:
Practice each small section repeatedly at a slow tempo. Pay close attention to fingering, rhythm, and intonation to ensure every note is clear and accurate.
For instance, when practicing a fast scale, begin very slowly to ensure proper finger movement and even tone. Practice each section 3–5 times until it can be played smoothly and accurately.

3. Technique-Focused Practice (20 minutes)

Identify a technical focus:
Based on the demands of the repertoire and personal weaknesses, select one specific technique to work on, such as arpeggios, trills, or chord transitions.

Targeted training:
Use technical exercises or self-designed practice patterns to strengthen the selected skill. For example, when practicing arpeggios, work in different keys and gradually increase the tempo from slow to fast to improve finger coordination and agility.
Spend about 10–15 minutes per technique, paying close attention to weight transfer and finger motion.

4. Continuous Performance Practice (15 minutes)

Integrate sections:
Connect the previously practiced sections and play through the entire piece continuously. Try to follow the intended tempo and expressive character, focusing on transitions between sections and overall musical flow.

Refine details:
While playing through the piece, note any awkward transitions or unstable tempos. Mark these spots and consider ways to improve them. Play the piece 2–3 times, aiming for greater refinement with each repetition.

5. Post-Practice Reflection (5 minutes)

Review challenges:
Reflect on issues encountered during practice, such as passages that remain insecure or techniques that still need improvement.

Plan next steps:

Based on these observations, outline the main focus for the next practice session to ensure continuity and targeted progress.

The original was written in Chinese:

练琴前准备（5 分钟）

明确目标：快速回顾今天要练习的曲目，确定具体目标，比如攻克某首曲子里的一段高难度音阶，或是提升某首练习曲的节奏稳定性。

活动手指：做简单的手指伸展和关节活动操，像握拳松开、手指左右摆动、旋转手腕等，让手部肌肉和关节预热，为接下来的练习做好准备。

分段练习（30 分钟）

分解难点：把要练习的曲目分成若干小段，尤其是针对之前确定的难点部分，进一步细分。例如，一首复杂的奏鸣曲，将难点的乐章按乐句拆开。

慢练精雕：以较慢的速度，对每个小段进行反复练习。着重关注指法、节奏、音准等细节，确保每个音符都弹奏清晰、准确。比如练习一段快速的音阶，先以很慢的速度，保证每个手指的起落动作规范，力度均匀。每小段练习 3 - 5 遍，直到能较为流畅、准确地弹奏。

技巧专项练习（20 分钟）

确定技巧：根据曲目需求和自身薄弱环节，挑选一项技巧进行集中练习，比如琶音、颤音、和弦转换等。

针对性训练：通过专门的练习曲或自创的练习片段，对选定技巧进行强化。例如练习琶音技巧，可以选择不同调性的琶音练习，从慢到快，逐渐提升手指的熟练度和灵活性。每个技巧练习 10 - 15 分钟，过程中注意体会发力方式和手指的运动轨迹。

整体连贯弹奏（15 分钟）

整合段落：将之前分段练习的各个部分连接起来，进行整首曲子的连贯弹奏。尽量按照乐曲的正常速度和情感要求去演绎，感受段落之间的衔接和整体的音乐表现力。

完善细节：在连贯弹奏过程中，留意是否存在过渡不自然、节奏忽快忽慢等问题，及时标记并思考改进方法。弹奏 2 - 3 遍，每次都力求比上一次更完善。

练琴后总结（5 分钟）

回顾问题：回顾今天练琴过程中遇到的问题，比如哪些地方还不够熟练，哪些技巧的掌握仍有欠缺。

规划后续：根据总结出的问题，简单规划下一次练琴的重点和方向，使练琴更具连贯性和针对性。

10个浪费时间的练琴行为 10 Time wasting practice

1. 练琴时，简单的练，难的避开 Only practice easy and fun piece and avoid difficult ones.

2. 开始不会慢练 Don't slow down when you play a new unfamiliar piece.

3. 不看谱. Don't look at the music sheet while playing

4. 边练边想别的事 Think of something else while practice

5. 练琴时琐事多，喝水，厕所等  Constantly excuse oneself for needing to either drink water or use restroom

6. 不时地看表，弹完一曲要休息 Take a break after practice a piece, constantly looking at watch

7. 练琴没目标，喜欢什么弹什么 Start practice without setting a goal for the session, play what ones pleases

8. 每遍都是从头到尾弹，不注重细节，难点 Playing from the beginning to the end paying no attention to details and difficult sections.

9. 一练琴就犯困 Feel sleepy whenever practicing piano

10. 不正视自己的弱处。老师指出的问题没有认真想纠正。Ignore one's weak part, pay no attention to the issues pointed out by the teacher.

I recently came across a book titled The Folly of Fools: The Logic of Deceit and Self-Deception in Human Life by Robert Trivers. What intrigued me more than the title was the author himself—an evolutionary biologist. At first glance, self-deception seems like a topic better suited to sociology or psychology. What does biology have to do with lies, logic, and deceit?

It’s easy enough to understand why people deceive others. But why deceive themselves?

Trivers argues that we often deceive ourselves precisely in order to deceive others more effectively. By believing our own lies, we reduce the guilt and cognitive strain that come with lying. When confronted, we can say innocently and sincerely—“I didn’t realize I was lying.” In that sense, self-deception becomes a kind of psychological shield. And although we are taught to value honesty, Trivers suggests that in everyday life, self-deception is almost impossible to avoid.

He points out a striking discrepancy in human perception: what our senses register is not what ultimately reaches our conscious awareness. Information is filtered, distorted, interpreted, and reshaped by the brain into something that is more comforting, flattering, or convenient. In other words, our brains routinely deceive us—often without our knowing it.

So what does all this have to do with evolutionary biology? From that perspective, self-deception makes surprisingly good sense.

The bottom line is evolution does not reward truth or honesty. It rewards survival and reproduction. If self-deception helps an organism appear more confident, act more decisively, persuade rivals, mates, or allies, or reduce hesitation caused by guilt or doubt, then it can be favored by natural selection—even when it distorts reality.

Seen this way, self-deception fits neatly into several evolutionary patterns.

1. Self-deception as a signaling advantage
Confidence is a powerful signal. An animal—or a human—who genuinely believes in their own strength or value often signals it more convincingly than someone who is merely pretending. Self-deception eliminates “leakage”: hesitation, timidness, micro-expressions, and internal inconsistency. From an evolutionary standpoint, believing your own lie can be more efficient than consciously faking confidence.

2. Error bias favors overconfidence
In many evolutionary situations, false positives are less costly than false negatives.

• Mistaking danger where none exists → wasted energy, less costly

• Failing to detect real danger → death

The same logic applies socially:

• Overestimating romantic interest → rejection, less costly

• Underestimating it → missed reproductive opportunity

Evolution therefore tends to favor optimistic distortions over neutral accuracy. Being slightly wrong in a hopeful direction is often safer than being cautiously correct.

3. Group cohesion and in-group bias
Self-deception also strengthens group loyalty. Belief in a group’s moral superiority or shared narrative enhances cooperation, trust, unity, and willingness to sacrifice for one another. Groups that are more unified—even around false beliefs—often function more effectively and confront outsiders more cohesively. From a gene-centered perspective, that cohesion can improve survival, regardless of objective truth.

Ultimately, self-deception is not a flaw in human design. It’s a feature—useful, repeatable, and often adaptive.

Perhaps this is what makes self-deception so unsettling: it forces us to confront the fact that truth has never been evolution’s highest priority. Survival came first. Confidence mattered more than accuracy. Cohesion outweighed objectivity.

So how should we confront self-deception?

That doesn’t mean truth is useless—only that it is fragile, costly, and often at odds with our instincts. In a modern world that depends on reflection, cooperation across groups, and long-term consequences, our ancient mental shortcuts can easily misfire. What once helped us survive can now distort judgment, fuel division, and justify harm.

Understanding self-deception through an evolutionary lens doesn’t excuse it. It only explains why it is so persistent—and why overcoming it requires effort, humility, and conscious restraint. 

Truth, it turns out, is not our default setting. It is a discipline. It is our choice.

This Monday, during an online meeting with my Korean student, we talked about New Year’s resolutions and parenting. She mentioned how challenging it is to get her daughter to do what she should do. At the time, I happened to be reading Crucial Influence: Leadership Skills to Create Lasting Behavior Change by Joseph Grenny and four co-authors (2013). What struck me was how many of the book’s ideas apply directly to parenting.

The authors argue that key behaviors—whether in adults or children—are shaped by two forces:

(1) Motivation: Does the person want to do it?
(2) Ability: Can the person actually do it?

When someone fails to carry out a task, the reasons almost always come down to one of these two factors: low motivation or insufficient ability.

To address low motivation, effective influencers use three strategies: helping people enjoy tasks they dislike, leveraging role models, and using external rewards or consequences.

1. Stimulating Personal Motivation

This is often the hardest part for parents—especially when dealing with children who love to play but avoid studying. How do we help them enjoy tasks they instinctively resist?

Successful influencers don’t rely on nagging, lectures, or threats. Instead, they use emotional connection and thoughtful questioning to help a person reflect and make their own choice. They tell stories that resonate. They turn dull tasks into small games or challenges. In short, they invite engagement rather than force compliance.

2. Role Models

We’re social creatures; influence is built into our nature. A single compliment, an encouraging gesture, or a small show of approval can shift a child’s behavior. Children naturally look up to those ahead of them.

And of course, we ourselves are often the most powerful role models. If we want our children to change their behavior, we have to demonstrate it in our own. Children learn far more from what we do than from what we say.

3. Rewards and Consequences

Rewards and consequences can work—when used wisely. The key is simple:
Reward the behavior, not just the outcome.

If you want your child to develop the habit of studying independently, reward them when they sit down to study on their own—not only when they bring home a high score.

But internal motivation should always come first. External rewards should follow, not lead. Psychologists call this the overjustification effect: give too many rewards for something a child already enjoys, and you may unintentionally drain the joy out of it. The moment the chocolate stops, so does the piano practice.

Of course, when internal motivation is already strong, rewards enhance rather than harm. A student who loves learning will not love it any less after receiving a scholarship.

These three strategies—creating genuine motivation, leaning on role models, and using rewards wisely—can help children do what they once resisted. And, more importantly, they can help them grow into people who take initiative for themselves.

The book puts it well: “Learning how to motivate and enable others to change their actions may be the most important skill you'll ever acquire.” (p. 9)

Perhaps, at the heart of parenting is influence—not controlling our children, but helping them learn to control themselves by building the motivation and ability to navigate life on their own. That is why these ideas matter. They remind us that change is about understanding how people grow. If we can learn to influence with empathy, clarity, and patience, we are not just shaping behaviors; we are shaping character—and ultimately, fate.

This 2023 news story about an elderly man losing over a million dollars to an online scam is shocking and thought-provoking. For three months, the old man chatted daily with a woman he had never met. They talked about families, children, and daily life. Eventually, he trusted her enough to follow her advice and pour his lifetime savings into a fake crypto investment. The money vanished completely.

At first glance, it's easy for people to say: How could he be so foolish to trust someone he's never met? Why didn’t he ask himself the most basic question—why would a stranger, possibly not even a woman at all, spend months “chatting” with him for free? But the truth is more complicated and more disturbing than a simple judgment.

A “Friendship” That Was Never Real

To the victim, this felt like a genuine friendship that grew slowly over three months. To the scammer, it was her(his) work. These conversations were anything but casual. They were carefully designed, step by step, to build trust and to narrow emotional distance. Three months of chatting is not “wasting time” for professional scammers when considering its potential gain.

These criminals operate like salespeople—only their product is nothing but empty air. They learn about your family, your worries, and your routines. They echo and confirm your emotions and your worries, offer sympathy, show “concern,” and gradually position themselves as someone you rely on and lean on. By the time money enters the conversation, the victim often feels they are with a trusted companion.

This is by no means an isolated case. These crimes are rampant precisely because there is no shortage of easy targets. Cases like this are happening again and again. "Two Hong Kong men in their 70s have been conned out of HK$48 million (US$6.2 million in scams involving a criminal impersonating an official and the Ethereum cryptocurrency."

Another one, "An 82-year-old woman in Hong Kong has lost HK$4.2 million (US$539,800) after being duped by scammers with a new phishing tactic involving a streaming subscription ..."

Here's a younger victim, a 55-year-old careful Hongkonger lost HK$1.3 million in scam, saying "I have no money left." And many more cases like this.

Another one involves 20 victims in Hong Kong who lost over HK$10 million in online love scams in just two weeks. 40% of the victims are above 60 years old.

Not Stupidity, but a Perfect Psychological Trap

It is tempting to label the victim as “stupid.” But keep in mind that this kind of scam succeed chiefly because human psychology is predictable under emotional manipulation.

These scams exploit:

• Trust built slowly over time

• The human need to feel valued and understood

• The tendency to believe someone who “knows” your personal life

• Shame that prevents people from seeking outside advice

Even highly educated professionals fall into similar traps. Intelligence does not shield people from emotional manipulations and engineering. The tragic part is that many victims might sense discomfort along the way—but they refuse to admit it. Once trust is built, doubt feels like betrayal of friendship.

An Uncomfortable but Necessary Lesson

This type of crime also reveals another problem, specially true in the case of this Queens man. In an age where strangers can share our most intimate thoughts through a screen, the line between real and fake relationships has become dangerously blurred. Ordinary people underestimate how deeply they can be influenced by invisible "bonds" or "friendship."

What This Case Truly Warns Us About

This tragedy teaches some lessons:

• Friendship or emotional bonds without verification is dangerous.

• Online relationships feel real—but they offer no real protection.

• Shame and silence protect scammers far more than ignorance does.

Most of all, it warns us that the real risk today may not be a masked thief in the dark, but a friendly voice greeting you every morning through a phone screen.