Yanwen’s blog

December 18,2023, it's been three weeks since we got back from Italy. I've been writing about my trip since then. I still have not exhausted topics on this. But I'm going to move on with other things in my life.

Last week, during the meeting with my student, we talked about her New Year Resolution, and how to keep our promises and stay motivated throughout the year.

For young children who need help with self-discipline and self-management, they have their parents watching over their shoulders. But adults don't have that luxury. They are supposed to be good at self-management and self-motivating all the time, which turn out not being entirely true. That's why some of us have unhealthy lifestyles that we want to change.

My student asked me, what motivates you to keep your promise. I told her, among other intrinsic motivations like curiosity, self-fulfillment, personal values and interest, I want to do something that makes my children proud of me.

My student said, I care about making my teacher happy. I don't want my teacher to be disappointed in me. This is my motivation. So I must keep my promise.

These words reminds me of something happened long long ago. One of my students told his parents that he put extra effort for the class because he liked the teacher and didn't want to disappoint her.

An excellent educator can be a positive influence, inspiring students to make extra effort in areas they may not inherently find captivating. Conversely, being surrounded by exceptional students can also serve as a source of motivation for the teacher.

There were interesting anecdotes on our New York touring. I noticed this majestic structure every time we passed it. I got closer and saw "Supreme Court" written on its front door.

The NY State Supreme Court

We know the supreme court was in Washington D.C. Perhaps this is their second court building. So I thought we might bump into the supreme court justices here.

Last time we passed it, I saw the front door open and a few people entering, with a few guards around. Perhaps it's open to tourists now. So I followed them in.

I asked one of the guards at the door, "This is the supreme court, right?" "Yes, the state supreme court." "Not the United States?" "No." I backed out.

On the front of this stately courthouse is this inscription, taken from a letter of George Washington to the Attorney General in 1789: "The true administration of justice is the firmest pillar of good government." It must be carved there for the purpose of reminding people to dispense justice, and justice only.

The fact these words were inscribed on the front of the building not only emphasizes the importance of a just legal system as the cornerstone of a well-functioning government, but also shows that in the money-talk world, it is so hard for justice to prevail in court that justice has to be carved on the building as a reminder!

Flannery O’Connor must get her inspiration from these words when she wrote "A Good Man Is Hard to Find."

Last Wednesday I met online one of my Korean students, first time this year. The meeting drags me out of my vacation mood, even though I am not back yet. First thing first for the new year: our new year resolution.

Long ago when I was in elementary school in China, around the turn of the year, my father always asked me to do two things: a reflection on the past year and a plan for the next year.

Nowadays I think it's better to focus on what's ahead. Confucius said this about the past: 成事不说，遂事不谏，既往不咎 (Chéngshì-bù-shuō, suì-shì-bù-jiàn, jì-wǎng-bù-jiù) that is, Say nothing about our past accomplishments. Disapprove not on matters that have already been done. Let bygones be bygones.

The idea that we can learn valuable lessons from our past and avoid repeating the same could be an illusion when learning and changing for better come with certain complexities.

The complexity involves the fact that very often our behavior is determined by who we are. We won't learn anything from our past and behave differently unless we change ourselves.

Therefore, Confucius' words on what happen in the past is loaded with considerable wisdom. Don't waste our time on dwelling on the past.

We can't change our past course, can't keep past glories. Let go of the past so we can move on burden-free and focus on becoming the type of individual we aspire to be.

I told my children that I was going to introduce a tiny piece of Chinese proverbs or sayings this year.

Recently I talked with my family about volunteer work. One of them asked, what's the good of volunteering? You can't bring food on the table with this. Who will bring food on the table?

That sounds reasonable. Before offering our free services to others, it is essential that we secure the means for our own existence.

At the same time, I thought of a related Chinese saying, 但行好事，莫问前程 (Dàn xíng hǎo-shì, mò wèn qián-chéng) Go ahead doing good deeds; Ask not what the reward will be. I first heard of it from movie 无问西东 Asking not west or east.

Sometime, after we attend to our well-being and we don't have a clear goals ahead, instead of wasting time, we might as well extend our service free of charge to those who need it. Why not?

I'm not preaching altruism or even kindness here. My understanding of doing good is like this, while volunteering or doing good deeds may appear to be altruistic, it actually benefits both sides. Because dispensing kindness rather than seeking personal reward or gain is in line with our intrinsic value, it makes us happy when our actions harmonize with our value system.

但行好事，莫问前程 Seeing the smiles on other people's face because of you, this is rewarding enough for you.