When my father was still with us, he expressed a deep wish that all his children would build their careers in China. He passed away while I was in the U.S. in 1987, and since then, so much has changed—things he could never have imagined. He once fought in North Korea in the early 1950s, yet now, here I am teaching students from South Korea, something that would likely astonish him.
Even back then, he understood that life held injustices we couldn’t control. He felt the sting of unfairness alongside me and understood my anger when I was denied an opportunity to go abroad for further career training, despite ranking first in the qualifying exam. He knew that my path would have been much smoother if I’d been treated justly.
My father was deeply saddened by the struggles my younger sister faced after a mistake in her early twenties led to her confinement. Despite graduating from nursing school, she was rejected by every hospital due to her past. She was still young, with so much potential ahead of her. My father believed that young people deserve second chances, and he felt strongly that one misstep shouldn’t determine her future. These grievances weighed heavily on his heart until his final moments.
Thanks to China’s economic reforms, my sister eventually found work outside the traditional system and went on to become the boss of her own company—a success my father, sadly, didn’t live to see.
A Chinese saying, 一棒子打死 (yī bàngzi dǎ sǐ), literally means "to beat someone to death with one stick." Metaphorically, it describes the harshness of condemning someone too severely for a single mistake, leaving no room for growth or redemption. This approach is especially punitive for someone still young and with a life ahead.
My father’s hope was that his children would contribute to our homeland. Yet, despite my career unfolding in the U.S., I believe he would have understood my choice if he were here today. So much has changed since he left, and though life has taken me far from what he once envisioned, his values and strength remain with me, guiding my path forward.