My sister and I went out for lunch yesterday. We talked about her plan to move to the United States so she would be closer to her son in her senior years. She has given him all the maternal love and care. It's natural for her to look for something reciprocal. But things could be more complicated than we thought.
This makes me think a lot about two kinds of love and care: (1) parental love for their tiny babies and (2) adult children for their senior parents.
The first type, parental love, exists in nature across nearly all species, humans, cats and dogs, perhaps driven by their instincts to care and protect their offsprings, ensuring their survival. It's natural, simple, irrational, unconditional, and rooted in biology. No social and cultural value added.
The second type of love, the reciprocal care of elderly parents by adult children, exists only in humans. We seldom heard of an adult cat taking care of its elderly parent. Is this type of love more a product of culture and society?
I think the second type of love is sustained in the contexts of cultural values and traditions with the concepts of filial piety, and also arising from the emotional bond between parent and child formed during the child's early stage of life.
Most importantly, it exists among adults and under the influence of the past. That's why the relationship between adult children and their elderly parents is more complex, rational, and involving more than obligations.
Biology is not enough. We have to transcend it to maintain a meaningful and sustainable relationship, that is, making sure it is based on genuine feelings of love, mutual respect, and care. And that must naturally emerges without a sense of duty or obligation.