External appreciation and our sense of self-worth and the strength to keep going

Yesterday we went to the riverside north of Er-Huan with my mother. One of my relatives sat on a little folding stool by the river, posing for pictures, then wondering what his friends would say if he shared the picture on social media. Undoubtedly he is examining himself from the eyes of his friends and is looking forward to positive feedback.

In a way, we are all like him, trying to impress others and seeking approval or recognition from others. This is made easy and commonplace in the age of social media. That's why we have thumb-up 👍 or heart shape ❤️ or something else at the bottom of a post on social media.

We are different in the way we interact with the outside world, and the degree we allow ourselves to be influenced by others. 

While some people try to impress others with their appearance, brand-name clothes, others with their luxurious lifestyle, still others with their skills. Some people give up easily, while others keep going with or without any feedbacks.

People take advantage of whatever strengths and attributes that they may have to seek outside approval and appreciation.

I shared my thought with my sister. She was right when she said, “You try to impress others with your writing because you think that’s what you are good at.” I made no self-defense.

The incident serves as a poignant reminder of the dynamic of human interactions in which we all judge and are judged at the same time, and also the role of external approval plays in shaping our behavior and interactions.

One step further, it encourages us to reflect on the motivations behind our actions and, most importantly, the impact of outside appreciation have on our sense of self-worth and the strength to carry on.

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12 responses
Yanwen Xia upvoted this post.
From a reader, “自己喜欢就好.” As long as you yourself like it, regardless of with or without external feedback.
Imagine a chef cooking away, caring not if his guests like his cooking. That’s a tough job to keep up.
From a reader, “That’s right, the image you present on social media is the image you want others to see. It's a form of self-promotion. As you said, when we rely too much on external feedback, our self-worth may become fragile, we may become too concerned about what others think, and even lose our direction.“ This is more interesting than I thought.
I have an interesting conversation with a reader. “Is it considered to cater to a social aesthetic? In fact, posting on Moments is a way of managing a lifestyle.[Grin]“ me, “I have never thought this way. That’s an interesting topic to pursue. To cater or to impress? I’m not sure.” “A peaceful and beautiful life(岁月静好)is popular on domestic social media. impress is more accurate.”
“ [ThumbsUp] 把他人的评价变成激励自己的动力;从在意别人到在意自己 活出精彩的人生.”
6 visitors upvoted this post.