10/24/2026
I’m continuing my discussion of Kenneth Barish’s 2026 book, The Art and Science of Parenting and Grandparenting, which explores the role grandparents can play in children’s emotional development.
Grandparents can serve as a second line of support for children’s emotional health.
Barish uses the concept of an “emotional immune system” to describe a child’s ability to cope with difficult feelings and recover from emotional setbacks. The idea reminds me of the body’s immune system, which has multiple layers of defense. A child’s emotional resilience, too, can be strengthened by having several trusted people to turn to, rather than relying on parents alone.
Even loving parents lose patience sometimes. They may criticize their children, react too harshly, or become frustrated when daily challenges pile up. What matters is not that parents never make mistakes, but that children have opportunities to feel understood and that relationships can be repaired after moments of conflict.
This is where grandparents can make a difference. They can listen without judging, offer comfort when a child feels hurt, and help the child see that problems can be solved, relationships can be repaired, and bad feelings do not last forever.
Being a source of emotional support does not mean spoiling a grandchild or always taking the child’s side against the parents. It means offering another safe and caring relationship. A child who feels misunderstood by one family member may find comfort in another. The more reliable sources of support a child has, the better equipped the child may be to cope with life’s inevitable disappointments.
What’s more, according to Barish, grandparenting is a win-win-win thing for grandparents, parents and grandchildren.
Children can benefit emotionally from their grandparents, while grandparents and parents may also benefit from caring for their grandchildren.
In January 2026, the journal Psychology and Aging published a study involving 2,887 grandparents over age 50 who participated in the English Longitudinal Study of Ageing. Researchers analyzed survey responses and cognitive test results collected between 2016 and 2022.
Grandparents who cared for their grandchildren scored higher on tests of memory and verbal fluency than those who did not provide care, even after researchers adjusted for age, health, and other factors. Grandmothers who provided care also showed slower cognitive decline over time than grandmothers who did not.
Why? Researchers suggest that looking after grandchildren can keep older adults mentally active and socially engaged. Trying to remember a grandchild’s favorite cartoon, planning an outing, preparing a meal, or helping with homework all involve attention, memory, and interaction. Also, feeling useful and connected may also contribute to well-being.
One interesting finding was that the frequency of caregiving did not predict cognitive functioning among the grandparents who provided care. The researchers suggested that being involved in a grandchild’s life may matter more than the amount of care provided. However, the study does not prove that occasional care offers the same protection against cognitive decline as full-time care.
Please note that these findings do not suggest that grandparents take on more childcare than they want or can comfortably manage.
I think the greatest benefit of grandparenting is "mutual nourishment," the opportunity for two generations to enrich each other’s lives—one through the security of being loved, the other through the joy of being needed.
