About a college classmate of mine, I know she has a rather dominant personality, still I never expect to hear such a drama about her from my friend.
Here's the story. Once her elder son came home for Christmas with his wife. On the Christmas Eve, under the watching eyes and anxious expectation of all, the elder son opened the gift boxes -- one, two, three, four, all went to his wife. Unable to hold her disappointment anymore, the mother, without waiting till the end of the unwrapping, threw into a long towering rage, denouncing her son 娶了媳妇忘了娘 (qǔ le xífù wàng le niáng), meaning "After marrying a wife, the man forgets his mother."
The young couple lived in New York, an hour away from his parents. After that event they moved to the west coast. According to my friend, the young couple wants to live as far from his parents as possible, which seems like a huge rift between the parents and their elder son.
I can understand the disappointment of the mother, though a bit dramatic, out of her high expectations regarding familial relationships and feeling being sidelined by her son.
Still, I think the mother is solely responsible for this rift. If the mother cares so much about this, she should clearly communicate her feeling and expectations, e.g. "Son, can I have my gift first?" I clearly tell my children, "I have everything. Don't buy anything for me."
Secondly, the young man already has his family. He has all the rights to take care of his own family first. He can even choose not to be with his parents' family during Christmas holidays. Be grateful for his visit.
Thirdly, the story underscores the complexities inherent in familial dynamics, as well as the crucial role of communication, understanding, and empathy across generations and cultures.
Finally, the young couple's decision to move far away from the parents not only is a drastic reaction to the dominant parent but also demonstrates a strong desire for independence and autonomy. Great for them! Perhaps the geographical distance helps resolve any conflicts between them.