Not long ago, Chinese social media was flooded with the story of a young woman who shared her final journey to Switzerland for euthanasia after a lost battle with lupus. This story spread quickly, reaching me through family, friends in Beijing, and my high school and college groups.
Her father traveled with her and would return with her ashes. His choice to support her wish for euthanasia, despite the emotional cost, adds a profound sadness to her story. His presence reflects a compassionate role, underscoring the emotional toll on loved ones who accompany someone to their end. This journey was undoubtedly agonizing for him—fulfilling her wish while confronting the heartbreaking reality of losing his child.
Though rare, her decision to choose euthanasia, document and share it publicly may have been an attempt to raise awareness of the severe pain and limitations lupus can bring, or perhaps to find comfort in a virtual community during her final days. Or perhaps it reveals her deep-harbored desire to be understood and remember. Or simply to connect with as many as possible in her last moments. Drawing a virtual audience to witness her experience, she also opened a broader conversation about chronic illness, euthanasia, and personal autonomy.
A Chinese saying, “雁过留声, 人过留名" (Yàn guò liú shēng, rén guò liú míng), which translates to “As a wild goose flies by, it leaves a call; as a person passes, they leave their name." This saying emphasizes the idea that just as geese leave echoes when they pass, people also leave behind their legacy or reputation, so when they leave this world, people still remember them. It also implies a reminder to live a life that leaves a positive mark or influence, as our actions and character will be remembered long after we’re gone. To leave her name behind, perhaps that's what was in her mind.
By sharing her story in real time, rather than reflecting privately, she invited the world to see and feel her journey. This immediate, digital narrative brought a rawness and urgency that would be lost in a retrospective account.
Her courageous choice sparked widespread discussion on Chinese social media about her decision.
From a parent’s perspective, supporting a child in this choice may be the ultimate act of love and empathy, despite being one of the deepest heartbreaks. While his daughter is now free from suffering, the father must bear the weight of her absence and the memories of her struggle. This is an enduring form of grief—a loss that offers no resolution. Parents hope to see their children grow, flourish, and find happiness, so losing a child, especially in such a way, creates a void that nothing can fill.
This transition—from being a parent to facing life without his child—is a unique form of ultimate loss, leaving him in a painful state of “un-parenting” and a vacancy that defies words.
In honoring his daughter’s choice and standing by her to the very end, this father showed remarkable strength and acceptance. His presence in her final moments speaks to a love that embraces even the most painful goodbye.