11/6/2026
Yesterday, a family member asked whether both of my children had taken piano lessons when they were young. I said yes. My goal was for them to enjoy music, develop an appreciation for it, and perhaps cultivate a lifelong love of music.
Unfortunately I made a mistake. I chose a piano teacher who was considered "very good," but whose teaching approach seemed to have little to do with helping children enjoy music.
A friend recommended a Ukrainian piano teacher. She was certainly talented, but her teaching style was very strict and old-fashioned. She frequently yelled at my daughter during lessons, traumatized her, something I would never have done myself.
In the end, she accomplished one thing: instead of nurturing my daughter's love of music, she made her hate it.
Looking back, I realize that being a talented musician does not necessarily make someone a good teacher, especially when teaching young children.
I have my own personal history with music.
My mother used to sing a lot when we were young. She had a natural musical gift, which my youngest sister inherited. Neither my first younger sister nor I seemed to have inherited it.
Growing up, I was often ridiculed for singing off-key. I loved singing, but whenever I sang in front of others, someone would ridicule me. I became discouraged and stopped singing in public.
Even as an adult, in my own home, I was sometimes told to shut up because I was tone-deaf. I had always loved music, but I began to feel that singing was something I should not do.
I may not have inherited my mother's musical "cell", but I have her love of music. I know how much it can cheer me up and make life more enjoyable.
Perhaps that is why, from the very beginning, I encouraged my children to sing freely and without fear.
I wanted them to experience that music was something to enjoy, not something to be judged on whether they sang perfectly.
I hope my children will never experience the same discouragement I did. I hope they will feel free to sing, even if they sing on or off-key, and never let someone else's ridicule take away the joy of doing something they love.
After all, music is for expressing ourselves, finding joy, and allowing ourselves to be heard.
