Today, I want to share two thoughts. First, I recently watched a video about a college student in China, from a modest third-tier county, who constantly demands more money from her struggling parents. Despite their limited means, her insatiable desire for more was really unsettling to watch.
Her attitude reminded me of a relative’s child who said to me when he first came to the U.S., “I’m my parents’ only child. If they don’t spend on me, who else would they spend their money on? The benefit of being an only child is that all of their resources can concentrate on this one child.”
At the time, I thought he was clever, having figured out how to maximize his situation. But in his world, he saw himself as the center, with everyone orbiting around him. It never crossed his mind that his parents might want to spend their hard-earned money on themselves or that, after retirement, they too deserved to enjoy life with their lifetime savings.
In both cases, I believe the parents bear main responsibility for the behavior of their children, since both are young adults. Children are a reflection of their upbringing. As the Chinese saying goes, 栽什么树苗结什么果，撒什么种子开什么花 (Zāi shénme shùmiáo jié shénme guǒ, sǎ shénme zhǒngzi kāi shénme huā): "You reap what you sow; the sapling you plant determines the fruit, and the seeds you scatter decide the flowers that bloom." The way children are raised shapes who they become.
Second, I recently shared a piece of writing with one of my students. Her response touched me: "Thank you for sharing. You organized our conversation so well that I can see things more clearly. You’re someone who finds lessons in everything and guides them toward understanding."
Her words made me reflect on how I’ve developed this ability to organize my thoughts and express them clearly in writing. It all goes back to my early teens when my father encouraged me to write reviews after watching movies or reading books, and to summarize my progress after each semester. His goal was for me to see where I excelled and where I needed to improve. At the time, I didn’t enjoy the exercise, but now, more than five decades later, I realize its lasting value.
Though my father has been gone for over 36 years, his legacy endures -- one of them being the ability to organize my thoughts and put them into words, a skill and a habit that continue to serve me to this day.
The message I want to leave with parents is this: the behaviors and values you cultivate in your children today will shape who they become tomorrow. Whether it’s teaching them a skill or to appreciate the sacrifices of others or instilling the habit of reflection and growth, the seeds you plant now will bear fruit in the future. In both small gestures and lifelong lessons, what may seem like minor efforts today could become the foundation of their character and guide them throughout their lives.