8/8/2026
I read an article comparing the resilience of older generation with the depression of the younger generation.
The article correctly points out that many older Chinese lived through extraordinary hardships, and that some indeed learned to suppress their emotions. The problem is the author extends this observation about some individuals to characterize an entire generation.
First of all, the article criticizes people for stereotyping the young as "fragile," yet it stereotypes the old as "emotionally numb," "lacking empathy," and suffering from "learned helplessness."
The irony is, the author went to the opposite extreme--condemning prejudice against one generation ends up expressing prejudice toward another.
Second, there are many causes for the rise of depression cases among young people.
The article tries to explain rising depression almost entirely through chronic stress and modern society.
But the author knows clearly that psychology rarely accepts single-cause explanations. Depression arises from interactions among many factors. Among them, genetic predisposition, personality, childhood experiences, parenting, family relationships, economic stress, sleep, social media, physical health, substance abuse, traumatic events.
In China, we have another important variable: the one-child growing up experience, in which many only children grew up surrounded by parents and grandparents who devoted enormous attention to them, excessive protection, lack of independence, low frustration tolerance, delayed assumption of adult responsibility and dependence on parents. That's why we have the term 啃老族 in China.
When a phenomenon has many interacting causes, attributing it primarily to one explanation may produce an appealing narrative, but not necessarily an accurate one.
Third, don't forget this age-old wisdom: responsibility builds resilience.
The article almost implies the experience of hardship leaves trauma in older generations. Hardship can leave trauma, but it can also cultivate resilience, competence, and perseverance. Human beings respond differently to adversity.
Resilience isn't pretending pain doesn't exist. A child who never falls never learns how to stand up again. A person who never fails never knows the sweetness of success.
As first-generation immigrants, many of us endured tremendous hardships as we learned a new culture, adapted to a different culture, and built new lives largely on our own. Those experiences made us stronger and more resilient—not emotionally numb.
Fourth, there is no need to romanticize sensitivity.
What particularly bothers me is the author almost treats sensitivity as evolutionarily inherently superior. I'm not sure this is psychologically and scientifically defensible.
Sensitivity has strengths. It also has costs. Likewise, emotional restraint has strengths, and it has costs.
A mature adult ideally possesses both empathy and self-control. Not one without the other.
One generation rebuilt a nation while carrying burdens that today's youth can scarcely imagine. The other is growing up in an era of unprecedented technological change, relentless competition, and constant digital connectivity. Their challenges are different. Both deserve understanding.
To the child born today, I wish you both: a heart that feels deeply, and a spirit strong enough to withstand life's inevitable storms. May you inherit the compassion to understand others, the courage to face hardship, and the wisdom to recognize that with sensitivity and resilience, together they are the foundation of a mature and fulfilling life.
