7/16/2026
Recently I came across a discussion about a common workplace frustration: someone reads your message but never replies, "read-but-unreplied" messages (已读不回).
For example, you send your supervisor a message. The "Read" label appears almost immediately—but nothing else happens. Ten minutes pass. Then an hour. Still no response. You send a follow-up email. The next day comes, and still you hear nothing. Your emotions shift from calm, to anxious, to dejected. You begin to feel ignored, insignificant, even snubbed or belittled.
While this describes a workplace situation, it reminded me of a conversation I once had with my sister.
"Do your children usually reply to your messages right away?" she asked.
"Sometimes. Why?"
"My WeChat messages to my son often go unanswered for days," she said. "I'm sure he'd reply immediately if the message came from his girlfriend."
Unlike Telegram, iMessage, or many workplace messaging platforms, WeChat doesn't display a "Read" indicator, so you never really know whether the recipient has seen your message.
"Maybe that's actually a sign that he feels secure in your love," I said. "He knows you won't stop loving him just because he doesn't reply immediately."
Of course, my sister wasn't convinced. I couldn't help thinking that perhaps her son takes her unconditional love for granted. He knows his mother's love won't change no matter how long he leaves her messages unanswered. I'm sure he is not consciously exploiting that fact.
I didn't say any of this to my sister. I'm still not sure what I could have said to comfort her. From what she said, perhaps the pain comes not from an unanswered message, but from wondering where you now rank in someone else's priorities.
Perhaps the real issue isn't the "Read" label at all. Technology merely makes silence more visible. What hurts isn't knowing that someone has read our message without a reply. It is wondering whether we still matter enough to deserve a reply.
In the workplace, that silence threatens our professional standing and relationships. Between parents and children, it touches something even deeper. A child may delay replying because he never doubts his mother's love. The tragedy is that those who love us the most are often the ones we unintentionally neglect.
A reader comments, “这是微信（腾讯）的老板马化腾故意设计的，微信团队讨论了很长时间，最后马化腾拍板决定。马化腾是个理工男，不善于社交，他说让收到信息的人回复，或者显示状态（信息是否已经阅读），会给人压力”
Reader’s comment, “我给外甥发知识性的，英语的，做饭的，中国文化的，基本都不回[Scream][Scream][Scream]”
One reader commented, “ Life! When our children have a significant other in their life, we get shifted to a not so important role. We no longer are their focus or priority. Therefore, they often stay quiet. However, if they need something from the parents, they won’t hesitate to call or text. That’s because they know you will be there for them! Tell your sister to relax. This happens to more families than we think.”
Another commented, “A good question to ponder. This is a common phenomenon in any relationships nowadays. It’s a matter of priority as well as a sense of reciprocity. (My child) replies my messages but seldom replies immediately and I do not expect her to do so. Among friends, I do not expect a reply neither. It’s up to the receiver’s decision that is beyond my control. Unfortunately, more relationships stagnate or cause anxiety because of these “no replies,” a side effect of social media.[Grimace].”