A few days ago, I went to the Post Office. On my way back, I passed an elementary school. It was school dismissal time, and I saw parents picking up their children.
I noticed a young Asian boy walking beside his mother, who tried to talk to him. I guessed she was asking him about school, but the boy seemed to prefer keeping a bit of distance from her, looking somewhat embarrassed by her presence. There were other kids around, maybe his school friends.
I imagine the mother and child must be in completely different cultural and mental zones. They might not fully understand each other’s zone. There appears to be an invisible barrier between them. Perhaps the boy doesn't want to be seen with his mother by his classmates. Maybe he wants to preserve a perfect image of himself in their minds, the image of a normal American boy like one of them, without a foreign-accented parent.
This scene reminds me of my own son when he was in elementary school. Did I ever try to understand how he spent his day in an American environment or how he felt walking beside me, a mother with a strong foreign accent? I don't remember. I do remember how, each time we went to his school, my children would tell me, "Mom, let me do the talking." I usually respected their preferences.
Reflecting on this incident has made me realize the importance of understanding and communication between parents and their children, especially when cultural differences exist.
It's crucial to acknowledge and address the unique challenges that children of immigrant parents might face. By opening up a dialogue and being empathetic to the children, parents can help bridge the gap and create a more supportive and understanding environment for the kids. Most importantly, take the time to connect with your young children about their feelings and experiences in this aspect.