While I was with my children yesterday, I noticed my daughter's hair getting longer. She used to keep her hair short and cute. I asked her if she needed a haircut. She said she's going to let it grow this time. Her boyfriend likes her long hair.
One adult said, let it grow. I like your long hair, it's confusing for girls to wear boyish haircut. People would wonder, are you a boy or a girl?
I said, doesn't matter, short hair makes it easy in hot summer, low maintenance at least. My son said, I go with whatever style you decide for yourself.
At first I thought my son had the most commendable reaction to the hairstyle argument, probably due to his position at work, making no judgment on people's appearance and personal choices.
Later that day when I think about it, I realize as a parent, first of all, my son's reaction reflects a respectful and open-minded attitude toward personal choice and individual expression. He recognizes that it's ultimately her decision how she chooses her hairstyle.
Secondly, he is non-judgmental and accepting of diversity in personal style, instead of imposing his own preferences or societal norms onto others.
Thirdly, his response demonstrates a deep empathy towards my daughter's feelings and desires, acknowledging the importance of her boyfriend's opinion without dismissing her own preferences or comfort.
Respect, empathy, non-judgmental, and giving supports to her choice -- I think parents can learn something here regarding children’s choice, so that children can feel empowered to express themselves authentically without the fear of being judged or criticized.
Ultimately, this will help nurturing a feeling of belonging and acceptance within the family.