A few days ago, I made an offhand comment to my youngest sister: “The three of us all take after Mom with our quick tempers. How come none of us inherited Dad's side?” My youngest brother-in-law chimed in thoughtfully, “Well, Dad was always calm and smiling when he spoke to us. Maybe it’s because of his position—he was always in charge, always thinking about setting an example. That’s different from Mom’s role, which was more hands-on and immediate.”
I’m not entirely convinced. Was his even temper a result of his leadership position, or did his natural temperament lead him to that role? Curious, I asked my 93-year-old mother, “Did Dad have a quick temper before he got promoted?” She shook her head. “No, he was always mellow. We never quarreled before.”
Her answer left me wondering. Was my father’s calmness innate, or was it shaped by his responsibilities over time? It’s still something I try to understand—and something I aspire to emulate. It looks like I didn’t inherit my father’s innate calmness.
A Chinese saying 静水流深 (Jìng shuǐ liú shēn) means "Still waters run deep." It suggests that people who are calm and composed often have deeper inner strength and wisdom beneath the surface.
Reflecting on it now, I realize that perhaps it’s no coincidence that people with my father’s calm demeanor often end up in leadership roles. Still waters run deep. The ability to remain composed, even in difficult situations, might be precisely what elevates someone to a position of authority. It’s a quality I continue to work on, even though it sometimes feels just out of reach.