It's been a week since we came to live at my son's place in Brooklyn on 8/2. I picked up a book that he's been reading, Same as Ever: A Guide to What Never Changes by Morgan Housel.
There are some parts that offer deep insights into the complex relationship between wealth, happiness, and expectations.
"People gauge their well-being relative to those around them, and luxuries become necessities in a remarkably short period of time when the people around you become better off."
Here the author touches on the psychological phenomenon of relative deprivation, where people measure their satisfaction not against their own past experiences or absolute standards, but in comparison to others around them. This can create a never-ending cycle where contentment is always just out of reach, pushing people to constantly strive for more, not out of need, but because of the perceived standard set by those around them.
Housel is critical about modern economy when he says, "Today's economy is good at generating three things: wealth, the ability to show off wealth, and great envy for other people's wealth."
That is, the modern economy focuses on material success and the shallow appearance of that success. The wealthy appearance serves to foster a culture of comparison, envy and discontent.
Social media and other platforms have helped blowing up this culture by making it easier than ever to show off wealth and success, leading to a pervasive sense of inadequacy for those who feel they can’t keep up.
This cycle of showing off and envying wealth can detract from the true sources of happiness, such as meaningful relationships, spiritual values, and personal fulfillment, as people become shallow material chasers and more focused on what they lack rather than what they have.
I remember my childhood, when abundance was scarce, but we were all in the same boat. Despite the simplicity of those times, we found joy and content in creating our own toys.
Because of today's superficial culture of comparison and envy in America, "We might have higher incomes, more wealth, and bigger homes--but it's all so quickly smothered by inflated expectations."
This reminds me of the concept of the hedonic treadmill, where people quickly adapt to improvements in their material conditions, leading to ever-increasing expectations that are difficult to satisfy. As incomes rise and people acquire more, the joy these gains initially bring tends to diminish over time, replaced by a new desire for even more.
The constant pursuit of greater wealth and better things can lead to a paradox where, despite having more than before, people feel less happy now than before. Another paradox in American culture, which prides itself on individualism, is that personal happiness often relies on the approval and support of others.
Finally, here's Charlie Munger’s quote on happiness and expectations: "The first rule of a happy life is low expectations. If you have unrealistic expectations you're going to be miserable your whole life. You want to have reasonable expectations and take life's results, good and bad, as they happen with a certain amount of stoicism."
Munger’s advice is a call to embrace stoicism and moderation in our desires. By setting reasonable expectations, we protect ourselves from the disappointment that often accompanies unmet aspirations. According to Munger, happiness is less about achieving certain outcomes and more about managing our expectations and reactions to the inevitable ups and downs of life.
Munger's philosophy of life and happiness aligns with the broader themes in Housel’s work, underscoring the idea that happiness is more about mindset than material success, more about values and the spirits inside us than things external.