Happy Father's Day!
There is a Chinese saying about fatherly love, 父爱如山 (fù ài rú shān): A father's love is like a mountain. This saying emphasizes the strength, stability, unspoken presence, and enduring nature of a father's love. It can also imply the height and weight of expectations that society places on fathers.
In America, these expectations often seem more fictional than real, considering the high percentage of fathers who are absent from their children’s lives.
On this Father's Day, should we reconsider the traditional weighty expectations often associated with fatherly love? Instead of idealizing a fatherly love and setting unrealistic expectations for what a father should be, perhaps the best fatherly love is simply being present in your children's lives.
Like children telling fathers:
Be present when I was born;
Be present when I fall;
Be present when I play soccer games;
Be present when I need help or someone to talk to;
Be present when I learn swimming or biking;
Be present when I learn to drive;
Be present when I graduate from high school or college and even beyond.
This consistent presence throughout the growing years helps build a sense of security and stability in a child's life. This is the essence of the fatherly love that a child truly needs.
While the metaphor of a father's love being like a mountain emphasizes strength and stability, it is the consistent everyday presence of a father that truly matters. Fathers don't need to be perfect or extraordinary; their simple presence is enough to profoundly shape and positively impact their children’s lives.
With their simple presence in the children's life, fathers can provide the stability, security, support, and love that their children need to grow and thrive. This fatherly love fosters deeper connections and will leave a lasting positive impact. Ultimately, the most meaningful and money-cant-buy gift a father can give is his time and attention.
Let us celebrate and embrace the power of fatherly presence, understanding that being there—physically and emotionally—is what truly makes a difference in a child’s life.