This 2023 news story about an elderly man losing over a million dollars to an online scam is shocking and thought-provoking. For three months, the old man chatted daily with a woman he had never met. They talked about families, children, and daily life. Eventually, he trusted her enough to follow her advice and pour his lifetime savings into a fake crypto investment. The money vanished completely.
At first glance, it's easy for people to say: How could he be so foolish to trust someone he's never met? Why didn’t he ask himself the most basic question—why would a stranger, possibly not even a woman at all, spend months “chatting” with him for free? But the truth is more complicated and more disturbing than a simple judgment.
A “Friendship” That Was Never Real
To the victim, this felt like a genuine friendship that grew slowly over three months. To the scammer, it was her(his) work. These conversations were anything but casual. They were carefully designed, step by step, to build trust and to narrow emotional distance. Three months of chatting is not “wasting time” for professional scammers when considering its potential gain.
These criminals operate like salespeople—only their product is nothing but empty air. They learn about your family, your worries, and your routines. They echo and confirm your emotions and your worries, offer sympathy, show “concern,” and gradually position themselves as someone you rely on and lean on. By the time money enters the conversation, the victim often feels they are with a trusted companion.
This is by no means an isolated case. These crimes are rampant precisely because there is no shortage of easy targets. Cases like this are happening again and again. "Two Hong Kong men in their 70s have been conned out of HK$48 million (US$6.2 million in scams involving a criminal impersonating an official and the Ethereum cryptocurrency."
Another one, "An 82-year-old woman in Hong Kong has lost HK$4.2 million (US$539,800) after being duped by scammers with a new phishing tactic involving a streaming subscription ..."
Here's a younger victim, a 55-year-old careful Hongkonger lost HK$1.3 million in scam, saying "I have no money left." And many more cases like this.
Another one involves 20 victims in Hong Kong who lost over HK$10 million in online love scams in just two weeks. 40% of the victims are above 60 years old.
Not Stupidity, but a Perfect Psychological Trap
It is tempting to label the victim as “stupid.” But keep in mind that this kind of scam succeed chiefly because human psychology is predictable under emotional manipulation.
These scams exploit:
Trust built slowly over time
The human need to feel valued and understood
The tendency to believe someone who “knows” your personal life
Shame that prevents people from seeking outside advice
Even highly educated professionals fall into similar traps. Intelligence does not shield people from emotional manipulations and engineering. The tragic part is that many victims might sense discomfort along the way—but they refuse to admit it. Once trust is built, doubt feels like betrayal of friendship.
An Uncomfortable but Necessary Lesson
This type of crime also reveals another problem, specially true in the case of this Queens man. In an age where strangers can share our most intimate thoughts through a screen, the line between real and fake relationships has become dangerously blurred. Ordinary people underestimate how deeply they can be influenced by invisible "bonds" or "friendship."
What This Case Truly Warns Us About
This tragedy teaches some lessons:
Friendship or emotional bonds without verification is dangerous.
Online relationships feel real—but they offer no real protection.
Shame and silence protect scammers far more than ignorance does.
Most of all, it warns us that the real risk today may not be a masked thief in the dark, but a friendly voice greeting you every morning through a phone screen.