My mother is famous for telling the truth, at least to me. I always practice with dumbbells while video chatting with my family. Yesterday, my mother saw my upper arms and commented, "You practice dumbbells all the time, but your arm flesh still looks like butterfly wings."
I can interpret this comment in many ways. It could imply that my efforts are futile, or, as I told her, it might mean that without my practice, my arms would have nothing but skin and bones. And also I need to practice more. She agreed with my interpretation.
From this, I think about how language is an art, and how parents can use it to influence their children. The way parents communicate every day can have a strong impact on their children.
This also brings back many of my growing-up experiences. As a late bloomer with a speech impediment, I grew up with two precocious and eloquent sisters. Our relatives often showered praise and compliments on them, never sharing any with me. It’s amazing that I was so resilient and always bounced back from disappointments.
This simple interaction with my mother highlights the power of words and the importance of mindful communication. Parents' words can significantly impact their children's self-esteem and motivation.
First of all, be unambiguously positive as much as you can.
Second, if you want to be truthful, give constructive feedback. Throwing negative comments only is not a responsible feedback. Also, deliver it with care, support, and encouragement.
Finally, mindful communication is key to building strong, healthy relationships with our children. With positive language and constructive feedback, parents can greatly influence their children's development and self-esteem, helping them grow into confident and resilient individuals.