Yanwen’s blog

During my last meeting with my Korean student, we exchanged some travel experience during holiday season. She went to Spain. I went to Italy last Thanksgiving. She said there were plenty of signs warning people against pickpockets. I shared with her a picture that I took in Italy. You often see it in places of tourist attractions.

Beware of pickpockets sign greeted us as soon as we landed on Venice

She shared this experience with me, "Once I was walking in Paris. I felt someone pulled my backpack. I looked back and saw two girls were unzipping my backpack and was thrusting her hand into it. I held tight my bag and shouted at them, "What are you doing?" They acted like nothing wrong had ever happened, not feeling a shade of shame."

I told her, while in some culture, stealing is considered a shame, a wrongdoing, in some culture people may not share the same moral values, especially when they are deprived. For them, stealing meaning sharing with the "rich." No sense of shame at all.

There is a Chinese saying that connects hard work with rewards in life, 人生在勤，不索何获？(Rén-shēng zài-qín, bù suǒ hé huò) That is, The key in life lies in diligence. No pain, no gain. 

The idea that only those who work hard should be rewarded is very much rooted in the principles of meritocracy and the belief that hard work should be recognized and rewarded. Otherwise, what's the point of working your ass off?

But the reality involves much more complexity. Some people may emphasize factors like socio-economic familial background, arguing that it is not fair to those who don't have the equal starting point and the same access to resources.

Today, my daughter works till 11 pm because she is a true believer of 人生在勤，不索何获？

December 18,2023, it's been three weeks since we got back from Italy. I've been writing about my trip since then. I still have not exhausted topics on this. But I'm going to move on with other things in my life.

Last week, during the meeting with my student, we talked about her New Year Resolution, and how to keep our promises and stay motivated throughout the year.

For young children who need help with self-discipline and self-management, they have their parents watching over their shoulders. But adults don't have that luxury. They are supposed to be good at self-management and self-motivating all the time, which turn out not being entirely true. That's why some of us have unhealthy lifestyles that we want to change.

My student asked me, what motivates you to keep your promise. I told her, among other intrinsic motivations like curiosity, self-fulfillment, personal values and interest, I want to do something that makes my children proud of me.

My student said, I care about making my teacher happy. I don't want my teacher to be disappointed in me. This is my motivation. So I must keep my promise.

These words reminds me of something happened long long ago. One of my students told his parents that he put extra effort for the class because he liked the teacher and didn't want to disappoint her.

An excellent educator can be a positive influence, inspiring students to make extra effort in areas they may not inherently find captivating. Conversely, being surrounded by exceptional students can also serve as a source of motivation for the teacher.

There were interesting anecdotes on our New York touring. I noticed this majestic structure every time we passed it. I got closer and saw "Supreme Court" written on its front door.

The NY State Supreme Court

We know the supreme court was in Washington D.C. Perhaps this is their second court building. So I thought we might bump into the supreme court justices here.

Last time we passed it, I saw the front door open and a few people entering, with a few guards around. Perhaps it's open to tourists now. So I followed them in.

I asked one of the guards at the door, "This is the supreme court, right?" "Yes, the state supreme court." "Not the United States?" "No." I backed out.

On the front of this stately courthouse is this inscription, taken from a letter of George Washington to the Attorney General in 1789: "The true administration of justice is the firmest pillar of good government." It must be carved there for the purpose of reminding people to dispense justice, and justice only.

The fact these words were inscribed on the front of the building not only emphasizes the importance of a just legal system as the cornerstone of a well-functioning government, but also shows that in the money-talk world, it is so hard for justice to prevail in court that justice has to be carved on the building as a reminder!

Flannery O’Connor must get her inspiration from these words when she wrote "A Good Man Is Hard to Find."

Last Wednesday I met online one of my Korean students, first time this year. The meeting drags me out of my vacation mood, even though I am not back yet. First thing first for the new year: our new year resolution.

Long ago when I was in elementary school in China, around the turn of the year, my father always asked me to do two things: a reflection on the past year and a plan for the next year.

Nowadays I think it's better to focus on what's ahead. Confucius said this about the past: 成事不说，遂事不谏，既往不咎 (Chéngshì-bù-shuō, suì-shì-bù-jiàn, jì-wǎng-bù-jiù) that is, Say nothing about our past accomplishments. Disapprove not on matters that have already been done. Let bygones be bygones.

The idea that we can learn valuable lessons from our past and avoid repeating the same could be an illusion when learning and changing for better come with certain complexities.

The complexity involves the fact that very often our behavior is determined by who we are. We won't learn anything from our past and behave differently unless we change ourselves.

Therefore, Confucius' words on what happen in the past is loaded with considerable wisdom. Don't waste our time on dwelling on the past.

We can't change our past course, can't keep past glories. Let go of the past so we can move on burden-free and focus on becoming the type of individual we aspire to be.