Yanwen’s blog

Recently my family in Beijing, who indulge in talking about politics everywhere, keep asking me about the current situation in Texas, specifically the standoff between the state of Texas and the federal government at the southern border.

I don't know how it will end. But the mention of Texas brought me back to 1984, 40 years ago, when I first arrived in the U.S. At that time, foreigners in Texas were as rare as Pandas in American zoos. Each foreign student was assigned a host family. My host family was Mrs. Robinson, a super nice Christian lady who took me to church every Sunday. After church, she took me to a restaurant, something to look forward to for a poor student.

Once she took me to her house, brought out some fruits, like apples and oranges, and asked me if I knew how to eat them. Bless her heart, she showed me how to peel the orange and eat it. I was tempted to tell her that I came from Beijing, a much bigger capital city than Waco, TX. But I didn't. I just played along with her. Next time I went to church with her, I kept thinking of words like parochial or provincial. 

I don't know why I can't forget this incident. Perhaps it fits perfectly this Chinese phrase 井底之蛙 (jǐng dǐ zhī wā), the literal translation is "frog at the bottom of a well" who, as the story goes, is able to see only a tiny bit of the sky above and believes that the small patch of sky is the entire universe.

It is often used metaphorically to describe someone who has a very limited vision or perspective, having no idea of the larger world outside or unaware of different possibilities.

With the wave of globalization and the seismic human migrations like the one at our southern border, we now have less and less 井底之蛙.

Sunday evening I met my Korean student online. She told me about her job interview, that she needed to change her job so that she could spend more time with her children.

I shared with her what I talked about yesterday about the benefits of sports in child development. More importantly, I told her, there is a limited age window for what parents can do to enhance their sports participation. We need to get them involved in some sports, having some fun and friends before they can say No to you. She said, Oh no, my children already say No to me now.

This reminds me of one parent's question during last Friday's activity. She asked, what can I do to encourage my teenage son to participate in sports? He spends excessive time on gaming and refuses to try any sports I suggest?

Sadly to say, at this rebellious age, that parent is fighting an uphill battle trying to make her son give up gaming addiction and pick up a new sport. At this point, no one could give her any feasible advice. Too late.

A Chinese saying goes: 一年之计在于春, (Yī nián zhī jì zài yú chūn). The literal meaning is "The plan of a year is in spring." This saying emphasizes the importance of starting early, right at the beginning of the year. You can also think of spring as a time of renewal and new beginnings.

Last Friday we invited a professor in sport and education psychology to give us a talk on the importance of sports in child development. I myself learned a lot from her.

She first tried to answer the question that many Chinese parents had: what's the use of sports. Can it help my kid getting into a top school? Since more time spent on sports means less time on study, they want to make sure their time is well-spent. The question itself is so Chinese and so short-sighted.

There should be no doubt that sports can help children develop into a mentally and psychological wholesome person, not just a bookworm or nerdy. Parents should have their eyes on a large time frame, that is, in the long run, there are many things that are more important than study, like having a strong body, wholesome personality, a strong character, being resilient, not fragile, having friends, etc. Kids can get all these through sports.

The delightful news for many Chinese parents is sports help children learn better by enhancing their memory, improving concentrations, cultivating their planning and decision-making abilities, and strengthening synaptic connections.

Yesterday, when I talked to a friend of mine about getting some accomplishments in life, she reminds me that accomplishments are important. Equally important is the physical and psychological health. So well-said! 

There is a Chinese saying: 生命在于运动 (Shēngmìng zàiyú yùndòng), To live, one must exercise. The saying emphasizes the importance of physical activity and exercise for maintaining a vibrant life. For people of all ages, an active lifestyle is crucial for maintaining our vitality.

Wednesday while my Korean student and I were talking about American politics and the election, I told her that in America it is inappropriate to inquire about three things at office: paycheck, age and politics, e.g. which party you vote for. She quickly apologized for having asked too much, which is not a big deal to me.

Both of my Korean students enjoy talking about politics, perhaps because I ask them to watch news video everyday in order to improve their listening skill. Still, in term of political fervor, they can't be compared to my family in China. Especially palpable is people's political enthusiasm in Beijing, right beneath the walls of the imperial palace

There is a saying that best describes this mentality, 天下兴亡，匹夫有责 (Tiānxià xīngwáng, pǐfū yǒu zé), meaning, regarding the prosperity and decline of the country, each individual has the responsibility, no matter who he is. The saying strongly emphasizes the civic duty of the individuals, regardless of their social status, regarding the destiny of the country, regarding which direction the country is heading. In a way, the saying reflects the Confucian values of social responsibility and the impact of individuals beyond their small circles on the country. This must be the daily motto of my family in Beijing.

Last year our parent-community held a talk on Montessori method of education, which is based on self-directed activities, experiential learning, and collaborative play.

The Montessori method reminds me a lot of parenting in pre-industrial societies that I learned from my mother. She grew up in countryside in northern China. During her early childhood, children were supposed to play active roles in household chores, gathering grass for cows, feeding pigs, or doing crafts, and babysitting her brother who is 10 years her junior. She learned to take care of herself and others from very young age.

The saying that it takes a village to raise a child was very much true at that time when the village was heavily involved in raising and socializing children with their values and traditions. There was no formal education. A lot of things that children did was to prepare them for adulthood and for their future roles in the family and community.

Montessori bears some similarities to parenting in pre-industrial societies, in that it emphasizes informal, hand-on learning, hand-free parenting, doing while learning. The major difference is the cost. While parenting in pre-industrial societies is FREE, here is over $40,000 for a toddler for one school year. I just checked one in New York.

There is a Chinese saying, 自己动手，丰衣足食 (Zìjǐ dòng-shǒu, fēng-yī-zú-shí) When you can work with your own hands, you can have plenty of clothing and food. This Chinese saying emphasizes self-reliance and hard work. That is, you won't go without food and clothes and comfortable life if you are capable of using your hands to create values.