Yanwen’s blog

A few days ago, I received the news of the passing of Zong Qinghou, the founder of Wahaha. Wahaha (娃哈哈) holds a special place in my heart as it brings back memories of the time when my son, still a little boy in China, used to enjoy drinking Wahaha.

It was only recently that I learned about the founder, Zong, who stood tall as one of the early entrepreneurs in China during the 1980s. For many, he was not just an entrepreneur but a model and embodiment of entrepreneurship.

Zong emphasized the concept of 上限思维 (Shàng xiàn sī wéi), known as top-line or upper limit thinking. Essentially, when embarking on significant journeys or enterprises, the focus should be on the potential gain rather than dwelling on the minimal risks. This approach stands in contrast to bottom-line thinking.

This philosophy brings to mind various instances, such as my son's decision to leave his job in New York City in 2012 and start his own company from the grassroots. It also echoes the courage of those who leave their comfort zones, sell all their belongings, and venture into this country. All of these individuals have embraced the idea of top-line thinking.

Undoubtedly, the journey ahead is filled with challenges and untold hardships, yet they remain undeterred because they have adopted the mindset of top-line thinking.

By the way, I will be flying to Beijing at 1 am, 2/29.

While taking my walk outside Monday morning, I was thinking of my meeting with my Korean student yesterday. She confided in me about the challenges at home, particularly frequent quarrels with another adult. Upon returning, I spent about 30 minutes writing to her, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and goal-setting.

As with everything in life, having well-defined goals is crucial, especially in dealing with interpersonal dynamics. Knowing precisely what you want enables you to focus and channel your energy towards what really matters, so you can filter out and throw out of the window irrelevant things.

In building a family, consider if the following aligns with your expectations:

(1) Creating a nurturing and harmonious environment, especially for the well-being of your young children.

(2) Fostering and helping personal growth and maturity for all adults in the household.

(3) Cultivating an atmosphere of comfort and open communication.

In the midst of disagreements, especially those centered on who's right or wrong, it's essential to focus your goals. When you thus focus, the need to determine right or wrong, winners or losers fades away. The top priority is to achieve the outcomes that align with your goals.

For example, when asked about maintaining a good relationship with in-law children, my response was rooted in my easy-going nature, able to steer clear of any potential conflicts. Another perspective was offered, attributing it to geographical distance, believing that people should not give themselves too much credit by claiming sainthood for themselves.

In such scenarios, clarity about one's goals acts as a lifeline, preventing the descent into senseless and meaningless debates over who is right or wrong and who gets the last word.

Finally, a Chinese saying best fits here: 不要因小失大 (Bù-yào yīn xiǎo shī dà). Don't lose big over trivial.

Last weekend we were at my son's place by Brooklyn waterfront, situated to the southeast of Manhattan, separated by a body of water.

In the morning we walked along the waterfront in Brooklyn Bridge Park, where we saw plenty of young people running. They looked energetic and athletic, like the rising sun.

It was so contagious that we could breathe the youth in the air and instantly feel like jogging along. A Chinese saying describes them as "身轻如燕" (shēn qīng rú yàn), meaning "their bodies feel as light as a swallow." It is used metaphorically to describe someone who is physically light and agile, and move swiftly and effortlessly like a swallow, the opposite of fat and slow.

The young people provide a sharp contrast to the senior folks that we often encounter strolling in Bayside Alley Pond Park. They are like right out of a rehab center, making me feel depleted, like energy draining away, dragging me down to their level. I think of those working with seniors all day long. I have to extol the virtues of these healthcare workers.

Meanwhile, if you want to move effortlessly and swiftly as a swallow, spend time among the young and bask in their healthy atmosphere, because they do have the power to rejuvenate you and make you feel that way.

Two things terminated last week.

First, someone in the same walk of life as mine shared a notice, "First time in my adult life I have not been employed. Today was my last day in clinical research. I love and respect this industry, but my calling has changed and Nurse Practitioner is the next chapter, so I’ll focus on graduating….. turn the page to the next chapter!"

She looks like your average grandma's age. Turning the page to the next chapter when you are way over the hill? She fits perfectly the Chinese saying: "活到老，学到老" (huó dào lǎo, xué dào lǎo), meaning: Learn as long as one lives. She is truly inspiring when it comes to lifelong learning and personal growth and development.

Second, last Friday saw the last meeting of our Growing Together Community. It has been in operation for over three years, managing activities twice each month. The chief organizer started working full time since this year. Being overwhelmed with both work and household chores, she decided to end it. It is not without a touch of sadness when she announces the disbandment of the community.

Inside and outside this community, they all call me Big Sister 夏大姐 since I'm the most senior among them. I see this as both a respect and an expectation. For me, something will never change with or without the Growing Together Community, I will continue serving and being a good role model to them.

February 24, 2024 marks the second year of the Ukraine-Russian war. In June 2022, I met my first student from Ukraine. She came here with her two sons, leaving behind her husband. Her husband was not allowed to leave the country.

On 6/29/2022, during our first meeting, I asked her "What is your American dream? My job is to help you get closer to your dream." 

I asked the same question to all ESL students on our first meeting, assuming that, like me, they all came to the country with a big American dream.

"My dream," she said without hesitation, "is to reunite with my husband." This is not what I expected. I wasn't prepared, so I was at a loss for words.

She told me that she was worried about her country. Now many people possess guns, which was not allowed before the war. What would the country be like after the war, with so many guns scattered among people? She thinks her country would never be the same.

On the second anniversary of the war, I still can't forget her words and the cruelty of war. A Chinese saying best expresses the desire for peace on the part of ordinary people, 宁为太平犬，莫作乱离人 (nìng wéi tàipíng quǎn, mò zuò luàn lí rén), meaning: "It's better to be a dog in times of peace than a human in times of war." The saying juxtaposes between dogs in peace time and humans in war time.

Exactly so. Last week my son took his cat to the vet for his annual physical checkup. Problem: overweight. While people in war time suffer from starvation, this peace time cat has too much to eat!

May peace be with us everywhere on earth!