Yanwen’s blog

Valentine's Day! The day could mean much more than love. The law of physical attraction takes me to that of intellectual and mental attractions.

Law of attraction is similar to the Chinese saying, 物以类聚 (Wù yǐ lèi jù), that is, Birds of a feather flock together. It's natural for humans to seek comfort, company, and opinion or bias confirmation among people who share with us either ethnically or culturally or religiously or politically.

I remember seeing a group of black students at one table and white at another when I was at Baylor cafeteria in 1980s. One of my former colleagues told me to only watch Fox News, all else being fake news.

Make no mistake we all need this comfort zone and we all go back to what makes us comfortable. Sounds great, but is there a catch here?

Have been there for too long, have you ever thought of stepping out of your intellectual and ideological comfort zone? Are you aware of the limiting effect when we always seek confirmation and stay in our information cocoon, and the risk of suffering from intellectual stagnation?

This thought on Valentine's Day gives me a thousand reasons to deliberately avoid the law of intellectual attraction and of trapping in my mental cocoon. to keep an open mind for peaceful co-existence among people of diverse backgrounds, and to keep growing intellectually.

Happy Valentine's Day to all!

Spring Festival we made dumplings together at my son's place. This is the first time that we did it since we moved out of Kansas. My daughter commented that it reminded her of the old time.

My children enjoy having dumplings. We have been buying them from stores. I thought homemade should be healthier than store-made. So I decided to try homemaking this time.

I told my children, it's a tradition in north China that family sits around the table making dumplings together during the holiday. It's a pleasant surprise when I saw their enthusiasm in embracing this tradition.

There's an extra unexpected bonus: a new realization. I used to make dough for steamed bread when we were in Kansas but stopped doing it after we got bread machine here. Sounds like a progress when machine replaces man power, right? Not really.

I felt soreness on my low arm that day because I have not made dough for a few years. It was not like this before. The Chinese saying goes, 用进废退 (Yòng jìn fèi tuì) Use it or lose it. 

Obviously the muscle on my low arm has decreased because I stopped using it as much as before. The soreness reminds me once again that I have to keep making dough like before to stop the decrease. Same can be said of our brain muscles. Utilizing and exercising our mental power are crucial for maintaining cognitive function and preventing mental decline.

One more thought, the modern home appliances have no doubt improved people's lives. On the other hand, it comes with an additional cost to us, e.g. leaving us less physically active as before.

Saturday, Spring Festival day, while gathering with my children, I talked with one of them about Chinese women's experience in America. We don't have enough literature on this topic. It's important not to overgeneralize the writings on this subject.

The established authors mostly touch on the experience of older immigrants before 1980s, the conflicts between traditional Chinese family and the large American Society. The new arrivals from mainland China since 1980s are a whole new batch of immigrants. One salient difference is women's status. Specifically, they don't have that much prejudice against women.

The more traditional the society is, the lower the women's social and economic status. Traditions across Asian cultures are not kind to women. My Indian student told me, she does everything at home, while her husband and parents-in-law do nothing. That's what supposed to be. So do my Korean students. They were surprised to learn that Chinese men cook at home. In both countries they pretty much keep their old traditions.

In China the government advocates, "时代不同了，男女都一样," that is, "Times have changed, men and women are the same." The statement emphasizes the equality between men and women, a gigantic departure from the old Asian traditional gender roles and norms.

In this sense, the policy in China aligns very well with the broader global trend towards gender equality and the importance of treating all individuals equally regardless of gender.

We had a great time with the children celebrating the year of dragon yesterday, the highlight of the week.

Recently I have been involved in two alumni groups. The involvement reminds me of the lifestyle that I read about in world's blue zone regions, places with a high concentration of centenarians. Other than the obvious factors: exercise and healthy diet, they all have high degree of social integrations.

There has been some research on the impact of social activities on the health and longevity of seniors. There are some obvious explanations, such as, the seniors benefit from the emotional supports from social groups, experience decreased feelings of loneliness and depression. Plus, social interactions provide more mental stimulation. Great for preventing Alzheimer's.

This makes tremendous sense considering the fact that humans are social animals and should be most comfortable living in a social group, not in an isolated environment.

Confucius knew this truth more than two thousand years ago when he said: 有朋自远方来，不亦乐乎 (Yǒupéng zì yuǎnfāng lái, bù yì lè hū), which means: what a blessing it is to have friends coming from afar. This quote reveals the joy and happiness the old Master felt from friend's visits. It emphasizes the value of friendship and the happiness associated with them in our lives.

Back to our longevity dream, involvements in social activities and fostering connections will definitely promote the mental and emotional well-being in seniors.

On Wednesday my Korean student told me that she learned a few new words from her daughter each day. I told her about the accumulation effect of this. "Keep doing it and get ready to see its surprising result over time."

The day after that I visited my doctor and later read about another accumulation in our bodies, cholesterol; and a simple formula of your average heart attack = high cholesterol * time. 

When I was working on our tax returns yesterday, I saw the third accumulation in life, that is the compounding effect of wealth. 

Be it learning or our bodies or our wealth or the way you do things, it all starts with something insignificant, insufficiently appreciated, and even ignored. Yet given time, they will all build up to something exceeding our initial imagination. The rule applies to almost everything in life.

The compound effect aligns best with the Chinese saying "积少成多" (jī shǎo chéng duō), which means an accumulation of small amounts can make a large quantity over time. The emphasis is on consistently making the same efforts, no matter how small they are.

At the beginning of Chinese lunar year, hopefully this short piece will serve as a reminder of the potential power of incremental progress or retrogression of small steps in life, whatever we do or we eat, when taken consistently, can eventually lead to something substantial. Make it something awesomely great in this Year of Dragon!