Yanwen’s blog

During my online meetings with my students, we exchanged our holiday experiences. Both of my Korean students were surprised when I told them of my trip to Bronx on Jan 2, though both were interested in learning what I saw there. 

While they admired my courage, they said they would definitely not go there as long as they could avoid. They live in Bergen County, NJ, in the midst of the most concentrated Korean population in the U.S. While Bergen County consistently ranks as one of the safest counties in New Jersey, Bronx NY is notorious for its way above national crime rate.

I told them, strolling down the streets in Bronx in broad daylight is not that horrible. There is plenty of Spanish culture around. There are also some magnificent old church buildings built by early immigrants. It's true Bronx is not as safe as Bergen County. You need to exercise double layers of caution. Still, they were not convinced.

The experience makes me think of two Chinese sayings, both are related to tigers. (1)不入虎穴，焉得虎子(Bù rù hǔ-xué, yān dé hǔ-zi) How can you capture a tiger's cub without entering the tiger's lair? In other words, nothing ventured, nothing gained. 

(2) 明知山有虎，偏向虎山行 (míng zhī shān yǒu hǔ, piān xiàng hǔ shān xíng). You know there are tigers in the mountains, still you proceed toward the tiger mountain. Similar to the saying, you venture into a place where angels fear to tread.

The take home message is, life is full of unknown risks, uncertainties and potential dangers. You won't hit a grand slam if you always stay within your safety net. Of course, I'm not preaching foolish risk-taking here. Where there is risk, we have to proceed with informed courage and extra cautions.

During our last "Brooklyn vacation" day, I was helping my son with putting clean laundry into different drawers of a bedroom dresser -- four drawers: one for socks, one for shorts, one for shirts, one for pants.

It is true that organizing things into different compartments can have many benefits, like (1) efficiency when you can locate a specific item super fast; (2) reduce stress that you experience when you can't find things you need; (3) clear visual message tells you which clothes inventory is getting low and needs to replenish; (4) provides a sense of order, etc.

But as with many good things in life, there is a matter of degree. That is, how thorough a person goes into being organized. Being over-organized can mean overtime consumed. 

I told my son that he could put his clothes into two drawers instead of four, shorts and shirts in one, socks and pants in another. It won't be chaotic as long as he can keep them separated within the drawer, like socks on the left, pants on the right side. This will cut by half the time of putting-into and taking-out-of drawers.

There is a very good Chinese saying that I once shared with my children: 一寸光阴一寸金，寸金难买寸光阴 (Yīcùn guāngyīn yīcùn jīn, cùn jīn nán mǎi cùn guāngyīn) The literal translation is an inch of time is equal to an inch of gold, but an inch of gold cannot buy an inch of time. The message is as clear as the sun in a sunny day: time is more precious than gold because time is something you can't buy with wealth.

During my last meeting with my Korean student, we exchanged some travel experience during holiday season. She went to Spain. I went to Italy last Thanksgiving. She said there were plenty of signs warning people against pickpockets. I shared with her a picture that I took in Italy. You often see it in places of tourist attractions.

Beware of pickpockets sign greeted us as soon as we landed on Venice

She shared this experience with me, "Once I was walking in Paris. I felt someone pulled my backpack. I looked back and saw two girls were unzipping my backpack and was thrusting her hand into it. I held tight my bag and shouted at them, "What are you doing?" They acted like nothing wrong had ever happened, not feeling a shade of shame."

I told her, while in some culture, stealing is considered a shame, a wrongdoing, in some culture people may not share the same moral values, especially when they are deprived. For them, stealing meaning sharing with the "rich." No sense of shame at all.

There is a Chinese saying that connects hard work with rewards in life, 人生在勤，不索何获？(Rén-shēng zài-qín, bù suǒ hé huò) That is, The key in life lies in diligence. No pain, no gain. 

The idea that only those who work hard should be rewarded is very much rooted in the principles of meritocracy and the belief that hard work should be recognized and rewarded. Otherwise, what's the point of working your ass off?

But the reality involves much more complexity. Some people may emphasize factors like socio-economic familial background, arguing that it is not fair to those who don't have the equal starting point and the same access to resources.

Today, my daughter works till 11 pm because she is a true believer of 人生在勤，不索何获？

December 18,2023, it's been three weeks since we got back from Italy. I've been writing about my trip since then. I still have not exhausted topics on this. But I'm going to move on with other things in my life.

Last week, during the meeting with my student, we talked about her New Year Resolution, and how to keep our promises and stay motivated throughout the year.

For young children who need help with self-discipline and self-management, they have their parents watching over their shoulders. But adults don't have that luxury. They are supposed to be good at self-management and self-motivating all the time, which turn out not being entirely true. That's why some of us have unhealthy lifestyles that we want to change.

My student asked me, what motivates you to keep your promise. I told her, among other intrinsic motivations like curiosity, self-fulfillment, personal values and interest, I want to do something that makes my children proud of me.

My student said, I care about making my teacher happy. I don't want my teacher to be disappointed in me. This is my motivation. So I must keep my promise.

These words reminds me of something happened long long ago. One of my students told his parents that he put extra effort for the class because he liked the teacher and didn't want to disappoint her.

An excellent educator can be a positive influence, inspiring students to make extra effort in areas they may not inherently find captivating. Conversely, being surrounded by exceptional students can also serve as a source of motivation for the teacher.