Yanwen’s blog

On 4/2, I went to a high school reunion, 8 of us retirees, full of noise and unconstrained laughter. This is another April Fools' Day.

Back to each dwelling and when the laughter subsides, I feel a tint of regret when a moment of reflection sets in. 

Most of them spent their career life as diplomats outside China, with whom I have not been in touch since 1974. I imagine they must have a rich, colorful, exciting and diverse experience in these years.

What are their life journeys, what are their perspectives on work, current affairs, what are the most challenging tasks in their careers, what are their proudest moments, would they do things differently if they were to start all over again, and their retirement plan, etc. I'm deeply intrigued by these questions, yet none of them were brought to the table. Also I think I miss an opportunity for learning and growth.

While it's natural for such regret to surface in hindsight in moments of solitude, especially when considering the depth and complexity of their life experiences, it is important to keep in mind that large gatherings are not fit for any meaningful in-depth conversations.

Reunions are for fun and reconnection, rather than dwelling on reflections and introspections. Enjoy what the occasion has to offer. No more no less.

想当年，金戈铁马，气吞万里如虎 (xiǎng dāng nián , jīn gē tiě mǎ, qì tūn wànlǐ rúhǔ), looking back, with gold armor and iron horse, they galloped 10 thousand miles like fearless tigers. That’s how exciting their lives looked like back then.

I read a short piece on Chinese social media. It was written by a young man, his first name being Liang. He calls himself Harvard Daddy Liang or Uncle Liang. This is an interesting phenomenon of self-presentation and branding in the digital age, where individuals often adopt titles to enhance their personal brand and social media presence.

Liang graduated from Renmin University of China in 2005 and then was sent by government to Harvard Kennedy School, where he graduated in 2011. After he got back from Harvard, he started some company offering services to people who study abroad. He made a fortune in the process and became a small internet celebrity as Harvard Daddy Liang or Uncle Liang.

Two things make me pause a second. First, there are tons of people graduating from Harvard in America and are successful from there. I have never heard of anyone going about branding himself Harvard Daddy or MIT Daddy. Perhaps Liang desperately needs to use Harvard to grab readers' attention.

Second, many years ago, when I was working with a high schooler on her college application essays, my daughter made a comment on one of the essays, that is, imagine what the readers would think of this... Now I'm the reader of this Harvard Daddy.

Something doesn't sit well with me when someone of my son's age calls himself Daddy to me, as if he talked to me as my daddy or what? I am surprised that people will brand themselves anything in order to become internet celebrity 网红 (wǎng hóng).

I started April first day meeting my Korean student, next video chatting with my son. My son is a man of few words. He asked me, mom, what exercise do you do everyday? Have you had physical checkup? On both occasions I didn't find the proper occasion to bring up the Fools.

April Fools' Day is for some light-hearted and harmless pranks, mischief, and jokes, for adult to be a child once again, for serious people to become playful. It's an opportunity to have some shared fun experiences.

Humor and jokes are tremendously important to our psychic health. They help to unwind and alleviate tension, break from a boring routine, bring about a change of mood from being serious to playful. 

A hearty laughter triggers the release of endorphins which are neurotransmitters promoting happy feelings. In fact, it is truly therapeutic to be able to laugh out loud once in a while.

Here's a perfect Chinese proverb, 笑一笑，十年少 (Xiào yī xiào, shí nián shào), a laughter makes you feel 10 years younger. The proverb emphasizes the direct relationship between one's mental health and longevity. There's another Chinese saying, laughter is the best exercise for your mental health.

Happy Fools' Day! Don’t forget to get enough exercise for your mental and psychological health in even the darkest moments in life.

I have learned so much from the behavior of my sister's cat in a natural world. 

While my sister was out of town for two weeks, I took care of her cat. Her cat insists on having our attention. Every time I sit down reading, she comes up meowing, purring loudly and persistently, pulling me until I give in. I lock her in my sister's apartment at night, where she plays all the night by herself. After my sister came back, she insisted on having her way: her master plays with her at night and sleeps during the day.

The incident brought up many thoughts. (1) I learned of this long ago, of two persons in the room, if one behaves like a mouse, the other will become the cat. (2) A friend of mine once said, "There will be an abusive teenager if without abusive parents, one way or another."

(3) A Chinese saying 不是东风压倒西风，就是西风压倒东风 (Bù shì dōngfēng yā dǎo xīfēng, jiùshì xīfēng yā dǎo dōngfēng) either east wind overpowers the west or vice versa. The implied meaning is that in any conflict, one side will prevail over the other, and it can go either way in the power dynamics. In my sister's case, if she doesn't discipline her cat, the cat will discipline her.

All this seems to imply an inevitable power struggle and an either-or situation which eventually yields two mutually exclusive results: cat or mouse, win or lose.

In some cases, I don't think there's much love lost, like between the cat and its master, bullied and the bully so common in high schools. 

However ideally, in all human dealings, the goal should still be to achieve mutual benefit or positive outcomes for all parties involved, through cooperations and teamwork, not winning of one side at the expense of others. An ideal because it doesn't seem natural in Nature.

Recently I shared some of my writings with a high school classmate from Tianjin. We first became classmates in 1970 and parted ways in 1973, over half a century ago. We have evolved into entirely different individuals.

Of course, she wants to know why I write. Is it writing for the sake of writing? For what purpose? I think of Arthur Schopenhauer.

Schopenhauer said, "There are, first of all, two kinds of authors: those who write for the subject's sake, and those who write for writing's sake. ... The truth is that when an author begins to write for the sake of covering paper, he is cheating the reader; because he writes under the pretext that he has something to say."

For the sake of covering paper, and then cheating reader? Schopenhauer's words may seem a bit too harsh or too critical. On the other hand, these words can also serve as a reminder of the importance of writing with purpose, integrity and sincerity.

I truly believe that I'm writing for the subject's sake and my subjects include my past and current real life experiences, Chinese Culture and language, books that I read, and plenty of others. I think consistently writing tiny amounts each day can achieve better results than some long-winded tedious speeches.

Though I have great subjects to write about, I still need to remember to write with purpose and sincerity.