Yanwen’s blog

We had a great time with the children celebrating the year of dragon yesterday, the highlight of the week.

Recently I have been involved in two alumni groups. The involvement reminds me of the lifestyle that I read about in world's blue zone regions, places with a high concentration of centenarians. Other than the obvious factors: exercise and healthy diet, they all have high degree of social integrations.

There has been some research on the impact of social activities on the health and longevity of seniors. There are some obvious explanations, such as, the seniors benefit from the emotional supports from social groups, experience decreased feelings of loneliness and depression. Plus, social interactions provide more mental stimulation. Great for preventing Alzheimer's.

This makes tremendous sense considering the fact that humans are social animals and should be most comfortable living in a social group, not in an isolated environment.

Confucius knew this truth more than two thousand years ago when he said: 有朋自远方来，不亦乐乎 (Yǒupéng zì yuǎnfāng lái, bù yì lè hū), which means: what a blessing it is to have friends coming from afar. This quote reveals the joy and happiness the old Master felt from friend's visits. It emphasizes the value of friendship and the happiness associated with them in our lives.

Back to our longevity dream, involvements in social activities and fostering connections will definitely promote the mental and emotional well-being in seniors.

On Wednesday my Korean student told me that she learned a few new words from her daughter each day. I told her about the accumulation effect of this. "Keep doing it and get ready to see its surprising result over time."

The day after that I visited my doctor and later read about another accumulation in our bodies, cholesterol; and a simple formula of your average heart attack = high cholesterol * time. 

When I was working on our tax returns yesterday, I saw the third accumulation in life, that is the compounding effect of wealth. 

Be it learning or our bodies or our wealth or the way you do things, it all starts with something insignificant, insufficiently appreciated, and even ignored. Yet given time, they will all build up to something exceeding our initial imagination. The rule applies to almost everything in life.

The compound effect aligns best with the Chinese saying "积少成多" (jī shǎo chéng duō), which means an accumulation of small amounts can make a large quantity over time. The emphasis is on consistently making the same efforts, no matter how small they are.

At the beginning of Chinese lunar year, hopefully this short piece will serve as a reminder of the potential power of incremental progress or retrogression of small steps in life, whatever we do or we eat, when taken consistently, can eventually lead to something substantial. Make it something awesomely great in this Year of Dragon!

I like to share this story with my children about my Ukrainian student. She came from Kharkiv with her two young sons in May 2022. She taught mathematics in a university in Kharkiv before the war.

She likes to talk about her sons, that they are now taking online classes offered by Ukrainian schools because their school works here are too easy. "They don't even have homework!" she complains.

Moreover, she said, American schools have too many days off, due to this or that holiday on weekday. In Ukraine, we put these holidays on weekend, so schools never close.

She once told me about her son's ESL (English as Second Language) class. The boy came back from school crying, "Mom, I don't understand Spanish."

It turns out that in his ESL class, everyone except him is a Spanish-speaking student, so the ESL teacher teaches English in Spanish. A Ukrainian boy is lost in class.

I asked her, do you want me to talk to the school about it? She said, oh no, "I told my son, this is great. You can learn both English and Spanish at the same time! You are luck that you can learn so much here!"

By the way, when I shared this story with my friends, they all had the same reaction as mine. In a way, as a parent, we are all too fragile and over-protective. Not good for the children.

The Chinese proverb "塞翁失马, 焉知非福" (Sāi-wēng-shī-mǎ yān-zhī-fēi-fú) The literal translation is: It's a bad thing that an old man lost his horse, but who would know it could be a blessing in disguise?"

The Ukrainian mother can see a blessing and opportunity in any undesirable situation.  What a great mom!

Wednesday I met my Korean student online. Before leaving, I told her, "For this week, try to do something that you've never done before." She said, "You are like a personal trainer at the gym, challenging me mentally." "Well, if you feel challenged, great! That's what you need and that’s what I'm here for," I said.

Challenging people is what I often do while working with high school students on their college application essays. When I work with them, I always emphasize this: your writing, no matter what topic you may choose, must reflect your unique voice, so readers can see clearly an individual who stands out like someone they've never seen before. Also that voice must be authentic.

Some say, there's nothing new under the sun. People have already exhausted all the topics. High school students have very limited life's experience. True. But you still can demonstrate your uniqueness through your distinctive interpretation and perspective.

I remember one student wrote about self-portrait and explored why her self-portrait always turned out more beautiful than herself. She became philosophic about it and in the end embraced both her ideal self represented by her self-portrait and my current real self.

A Chinese saying describes this: 鹤立鸡群 (hè lì jī qún) The literal meaning is: a crane standing among a flock of chickens. You can see a picture of a crane towering over a flock of chickens, symbolizing an outstanding individual standing among the average. Make no mistake that people will notice you, if you make yourself as outstanding as a crane among chicks.

Early this year I met a Chinese immigration lawyer at a Spring Festival party. She told me something about her Indian clients that I didn't know before. 

Here's one difference between Chinese and Indians and how it might impact their experience in the U.S. While most Chinese students in America come from affluent families in China, like my sisters' sons, most of Indians are just the opposite. Many are supported financially by their extended families.

While Chinese students typically come to the U.S. for a college degree, Indians come to the U.S. determined to never go back, considering it a dead end if they do. If push comes to shove, many choose to serve in the U.S. armed forces in order to be eligible for naturalization.

There is a Chinese saying that applies to this situation perfectly: 背水一战 (Bèi-shuǐ-yī-zhàn). The literal meaning is: "fighting with one's back to a body of water." This means retreating is not a live option. This describes a battle situation where soldiers have no choice but to put up a neck-breaking desperate fight.

People are surprised to see tons of Indian CEOs in top American companies. Some attribute it to their master of English. However, language can't explain why they are doing better than most native speakers.

The truth is, due to the limited options that they have in lives, they are like fighting with their back against the wall, something unimaginable to Americans and many spoiled little emperors or princesses from China. 

I think of the meaning of a comfortable life, too many choices, how they could lead to lack of grit and motivation and the will to face challenges in life. Sometimes, people might perform better when having limited options.