Yanwen’s blog

I stayed late yesterday, thinking about comments some people made about my writings and some of my activities, which some called them as nothing above chicken soup for the soul. I’m not out for self-defense. Nothing external can change my course.

My thought turns to the question: why there are so many chicken soup for the soul books on the market. In fact it's so popular that many Chinese are familiar with 心灵鸡汤 (Xīn líng jī tāng) which means exactly: chicken soup for the soul! You can laugh your head off on that😂.

There must be a huge market for this type of books. Then why do people turn to chicken soup books in the first place? I don’t have any definitive answers. Here are my thought on it.

First of all, briefly chicken soups for the soul are basically inspirational words and stories, meant to motivate souls and lift up spirits, having the same comforting and nourishing effect as chicken soup for the body. Simple recipe and straight-forward approach.

Secondly, why need them? You might consider the same question: why there are programs aimed at helping people get rid of drug or alcohol addictions. They are based on the same premise, that is, humans are not as strong as they claim to be. They lack of self-control and need outside help to either free from the undesirable addictions or live up to their own great expectations. 

Chicken soups for the soul serve as a reminder from outside, reminding them of a better version of them out there and a bright future to work for. Put things in perspective, disentangle from daily messes and keep up the forward steam.

When my students call me personal mental trainer or her cheerleader, I think I'm giving them the right soups for the soul.

We read plenty about parents criticizing or imposing their wills on their children all in the name of "for your own good." 

You might also hear of something similar among adults, that someone habitually giving negative comments to you, also in the name of "for your own benefit" or "Truth be told."

To give due benefit of doubts, very often people don't realize the long lasting damaging effects of their negativity on their targets. A test was done on it. Such experience could shoot up one’s heartbeat by at least 20 points.

It might sound like exaggerating to say that those who are in the habit of giving negative comments are killing people, though all points to that end. It's essential to realize that things can become serious beyond salvage when negativity builds up internally.

If you are on the receiving end of negativity, perhaps you can try sharing my suggestions here. That is, tell people to change their focus from finding faults in you to helping you get better results, if they truly care. Or ask them for constructive suggestions and advice when they are on the verge of giving negative feedbacks. 

It may not sound polite but sometimes you can try telling people to Shut up and mind their business.

Here's a Chinese saying for this situation: "恶语伤人六月寒" meaning: "Harsh words hurt like a chilling cold in June." That is, hurtful or even malicious words feel like an icy cold stabbing you in June. Never underestimate the power of negative words on people emotionally and psychologically, even in small doses, they can be potent beyond your limited imagination.

Yesterday I talked about an asset manager. As a first generation immigrant, she realized her American dream in a matter of a decade, an extraordinary accomplishment in this short timeframe!

Yesterday I talked with my children about her and asked them, what's her secret for success? I know there’s no one size fits all formula for success. Still, I'd like to capture one salient feature in her that, I think is essential to her success.

That is her curiosity. She started as an analyst of domestic stocks. She read intensively and extensively stocks in her field, yet she was not content with that. She was driven by her curiosity to read beyond her job description and venture into new fields of knowledge and transformed herself from a novice into an expert in these new areas. 

This is how she accumulated knowledge in breath and depth. With this heightened level of knowledge base, she could command a high vantage point and have a broad perspective and a far-reaching vision, and thus was able to make informed decisions. This is how she made herself stand out and advanced from an analyst to a fund manager and to her current position—Director and Portfolio Manager/Senior Analyst.

A Chinese saying describes her like this, "站得高, 看得远" (zhàn dé gāo, kàn dé yuǎn). That is, stand from a high position and see far away. For anyone who wants to rise above the average in her field, she must start with this process of knowledge accumulation. From that high vantage point, she can see farther and be able to think strategically for the future.

Last October we interviewed someone from finance industry, a director and portfolio manager/senior analyst at a capital management company. I'm quite an outsider when it comes to finance. Still I learned a lot from her. Here are two of them.

(1) What qualities are you looking for when hiring people? 

--After passing the initial technical screening, the final crucial considerations are to see if the applicant has the passion for the job. We don't want to hire someone who jump around. Another one is teamwork or cultural fit.

(2) Can you describe your normal workday?

--There's no normal day for me. I spend almost two-third of time outside office. If I'm working on a new company, I will most likely go to the company and talk with the company's management, with its customers, also with its competitors. I will spend a lot of time inspecting the company physically. 

I like to travel and learn from field observations, especially in areas that I am not familiar with. For example, to understand how Indian consumers consume, I have to go to India to see for myself. This is my style as an asset manager. You can't get firsthand knowledge by sitting in the office.

A Chinese saying perfectly describes her style: "读万卷书不如行万里路" (dú wàn juǎn shū bùrú xíng wàn lǐ lù). The literal meaning is "Reading 10,000 books is not as beneficial as traveling 10,000 miles." 

The saying emphasizes the importance of seeing for yourself and of real-life explorations through travel. We acquire knowledge from books, but more importantly from our own observations, exploration and analysis.

A few days ago I mentioned one of my meetings with my Korean student. I told her this, "It's essential to balance a focus on the present and an eye on a large timeframe in your life. ... Don't lose sight of the future when you are overwhelmed with the busy life today." During our next meeting, I will explain why she should never lose sight of the future. 

Most people autopilot their daily activities, me2. That is, people are mostly controlled by inertia, product of habits, always taking the path of least resistance, regardless of happenings outside.

Thus people are easily caught up in unimportant daily minutiae and miss the large picture. Even with their set goals, they get lost or miss their targets. This is one of the reasons why people let go of their resolutions.

Here comes a Chinese wisdom: "纲举目张" (gāng jǔ mù zhāng). The literal meaning: When you lift the head-rope, the meshes will come open. The deeper meaning is: when you take care of the essential and all the non-essential will take care of themselves. 

纲举目张 emphasizes the importance of focusing on the essential, the main issue. This is what Chinese like to say, 抓主要矛盾, solve the key problem first.

When you have a clear goal and the blueprint to reach it, keep in sight of this instead of getting sidetracked or entangled in the messy non-essentials.