Yanwen’s blog

Two days ago, my youngest sister shared an incident with me. Our middle sister had traveled out of town with her husband, leaving their 26-year-old son, JD, at home. JD sometimes stays at his girlfriend’s place, but when she works late, he returns to his parents' apartment. My two sisters live in the same building—one on the third floor, the other on the fourth.

My youngest sister said, "I didn’t know JD had come back. He didn’t stop by. I saw him heading to work while I was watering the flowers in the yard. I asked him where he had breakfast, and he said he’d grab something on the way."

She’s watched JD grow up, so I said to her, "He must be really busy," though I couldn’t imagine he was so busy that he didn’t have a minute to stop by and say hello.

The fact that my sister brought it up shows how much she cares. It reminds me of someone saying this: "晚辈人的不经意的善举，老人都会十分在意," (Wǎnbèi rén de bù jīngyì de shànjǔ, lǎorén dūhuì shífēn zàiyì) which translates to, "The elders deeply appreciate even the most unintentional gestures of kindness from the younger generation."

I’m also reminded of a story from a Japanese village about a man named Mr. Suzuki, who lived alone after his wife passed away. His children had moved to Tokyo for work, only visiting during the holidays. One day, his eldest granddaughter, Ayumi, decided to surprise him with a visit on his birthday. It wasn’t much—she brought a small gift and stayed for tea. But for Mr. Suzuki, it was as if the entire world had come to his doorstep. He was thrilled, chatting about childhood memories, asking about Ayumi’s work, and listening to her stories with great interest.

Ayumi stayed for a few hours and promised to visit more often, not thinking much of it at the time. Months later, when her family returned for the holidays, they noticed a change in her grandfather. He had framed a photo from their visit and often spoke about it with pride. Her father later told her that her visit had been one of the happiest moments Mr. Suzuki had experienced in years.

Mr. Suzuki’s story, like my sister’s, highlights the emotional vulnerability of older family members. Simple gestures—a hello from JD or an unexpected visit from Ayumi—can bring immense joy. To elders, these moments represent care, respect, perhaps a reminder that they’re still part of the family or perhaps much more than this.

I’ve noticed a few interesting things lately. First, last Sunday, while we were with the children, my son mentioned, “Today is 秋分” (qiū fēn), the Autumn Equinox. It’s the time of year when day and night are nearly equal, marking the midpoint of autumn. In the traditional Chinese lunar calendar, it’s one of the 24 solar terms. What made this particularly interesting was that it was the first time he identified a solar term.

Second, after being diagnosed with shingles, I stopped strength training for about five or six weeks and only resumed yesterday. It was disheartening to see how much strength I had lost—I used to handle a 12-lb dumbbell with ease, but now it's a struggle for me. This experience reminded me of the Chinese saying, 拳不离手，曲不离口 (quán bù lí shǒu, qǔ bù lí kǒu), meaning "A martial artist must keep practicing his punches, and a singer must keep practicing her songs." It highlights the importance of constant practice in maintaining skills, here my muscles. Naturally, after weeks without training, some regression was expected.

Lastly, I came across an intriguing post by Shaun Rein, the author of several books on China. He wrote on social media, “I’m sick of hearing what people hate about China on LinkedIn. What do you love? Let me start with two: I love being able to walk anywhere, anytime at night without fear for my safety. I also love how much the infrastructure has improved over the past 20 years. Although I own cars, I prefer taking the subway because it’s cheap, clean, and convenient.”

His post received over 800 responses. People shared what they love about China, mentioning things like safety, food, high-speed transportation, fast internet, vibrant culture, historical depth, humor, clean metros, and the overall ease of living. One person noted how spontaneous life feels in China—compared to Europe, where events require planning far in advance, in China, things can often be arranged within minutes, sometimes get done even on the same day of request.

This made me reflect on the old saying, “No news is good news,” which suggests that if something is reported in the media, it’s usually bad news. Good news, it seems, is not deemed newsworthy because people supposedly aren’t interested in it.

But here, despite people's usual inclination toward bad news, I was surprised by the overwhelming number of positive comments. It seems that people are drawn not just to negativity, but to what resonates as true for them—authenticity and the genuine values they hold dear. When asked, "What do you love about China?" the truth is, there’s plenty of love to be shared. This gives me hope, knowing that, despite the dominance of anti-China MSM in America, people still value truth.

Last weekend, my son gave me a book titled How to Be Well: The 6 Keys to a Happy and Healthy Life by Frank Lipman, published in 2018.

The book presents itself as a handbook for healthy living, offering daily habits and practices that can guide you toward sustained well-being. It is designed to be a continual source of advice, like having a personal mentor by your side.

In the book, Frank Lipman, both a medical doctor and acupuncturist, introduces the concept of Good Medicine, as opposed to what he perceived as bad western medicine. This holistic approach to wellness blends Western medical practices with non-western medicine principles, focusing on natural healing, prevention, and lifestyle changes. Lipman organizes his approach into what he calls the Good Medicine Mandala, a framework to achieve balanced health through six key areas: Eat, Sleep, Move, Protect, Unwind, and Connect.

Here’s a quick overview of these six pillars:

1. Eat: Prioritizes nutrient-dense foods to naturally nourish the body.

2. Sleep: Stresses the crucial importance of quality, restorative sleep.

3. Move: Advocates for varied and regular physical activity for body and mind.

4. Protect: Encourages minimizing exposure to toxins and chemicals in food, air, and water while boosting the immune system.

5. Unwind: Focuses on relaxation and effective stress management.

6. Connect: Emphasizes building meaningful social relationships and emotional well-being.

Lipman’s Good Medicine is deeply influenced by Chinese medicine, integrating key principles such as balance, prevention, and the body’s natural healing ability into his framework.

First, Chinese medicine is rooted in the idea of maintaining balance and harmony within the body, with nature, and in the flow of QI (vital energy). Lipman’s focus on achieving equilibrium through diet, movement, sleep, and emotional health mirrors this belief in maintaining harmony, similar to the balance of yin and yang in Chinese philosophy.

Second, just as Chinese medicine tailors treatment to each patient’s unique constitution, Lipman emphasizes personalized healthcare. He advocates for understanding an individual’s body, genetics, lifestyle, and environment—moving away from the one-size-fits-all approach often seen in Western medicine.

Third, the preventative nature of Chinese medicine, which treats imbalances before they manifest as disease, is reflected in Lipman’s philosophy. He encourages lifestyle changes—such as diet, mindfulness, and movement—to maintain health and prevent illness over time.

Fourth, Chinese medicine views the mind and body as interconnected. Practices like QI Gong  or Tai Chi emphasize regulating QI to calm the mind and strengthen the body. Similarly, Lipman promotes mental and emotional well-being as essential to physical health, advocating practices like meditation and stress reduction.

Finally, Lipman’s belief that “the primary care provider is you” resonates with the Chinese saying "求医不如求己" (qiú yī bù rú qiú jǐ), meaning “seeking help from doctors is not as good as seeking help from oneself.” This underscores the importance of self-care and taking responsibility for one’s health, rather than relying solely on external medical interventions. Ultimately, your health is in your own hands.

If you’re unfamiliar with the core beliefs and philosophy behind Chinese medicine, I highly recommend this book for its wonderful blend of Eastern and Western perspectives on wellness.

On Sunday afternoon, we had a wonderful time apple-picking at Fishkill Farm in upper state New York. There were six of us, with one bag for the apples. This has become a yearly tradition for us, as we make it a point to attend a U-pick event every harvest season.

We drove over 70 miles, paid for entrance tickets and bags, and enjoyed the experience. I remember a relative once asked me whether it was “合算” (hé suàn), meaning "worth it" or "cost-effective" to go apple-picking. After all, the total cost can easily reach $100, which could buy a lot more apples from a store.

Apple-picking practices take place at orchards during harvest season. Many orchards open their farms to the public for "U-pick" events, where visitors can pick their own apples directly from the trees. After attending these U-pick events many times, I now see apple-picking as a perfect win-win situation for both families and farmers. It’s a fantastic way to spend time outdoors while also helping reduce food waste.

For Families and Visitors:

1. It is both a fun and learning opportunity. There are always plenty of families with small children. While it's fun to taste apples fresh off the tree, it's also an educational experience. Kids learn about seasons, agriculture, and where their food comes from. I remember a Chinese child once thought milk came from the supermarket! After apple-picking, they’re much less likely to make that mistake.

2. This hands-on experience helps children (and adults) connect with the source of their food, fostering a deeper appreciation for farming and sustainability.

3. It’s a special opportunity for families to bond and have quality time together. Apple-picking has become a seasonal tradition for many, offering shared moments that create lasting memories.

4. You don’t get to eat freshly picked apples every day. These apples are packed with nutrients, making the experience both delicious and health-promoting.

5. It feels good to know you’re supporting local farms. Your participation helps sustain small farms and contributes to the local economy.

For Farmers:

1. Harvesting a large orchard is labor-intensive and time-sensitive. By inviting the public to pick apples, farmers get help with the workload, which is especially valuable for small or family-run farms.

2. Each time we visit, we see fallen or overripe apples on the ground—there just aren’t enough hands to harvest everything. Visitors help minimize waste, ensuring that more apples are put to good use and supporting more sustainable farming practices.

3. U-pick events also serve as a form of marketing and exposure for farmers. Families often spread the word about their experience, attracting more visitors. Farmers can also sell additional products like cider, pies, and jams, creating additional revenue streams.

In conclusion, the apple-picking experience is beneficial for everyone involved. It promotes education, sustainability, community engagement, and supports the local economy. It’s a beautiful blend of recreation, learning, and making a real-world impact!

As I turned my attention to the book I planned to write about, a post popped up from a high school friend, sharing pictures from a recent trip they took to a resort in the suburbs of Beijing. Around 24 of them had attended.

I commented, "The guys in the picture look like they no longer care about their appearance." He replied, "We've all passed the age of putting on a show. Being healthy and happy are our top priorities. If you feel good about yourself, that’s what truly matters."

On one hand, it’s true that as we grow older, our well-being and inner contentment take precedence over trying to impress others. However, I believe that looking good isn’t just for show—it can have a deeper, personal value.

For a high school reunion, especially among people in their late 60s, how one dresses still carries significant meaning—though perhaps in a more reflective way than it did in younger years.

First, from my own experience, the way we dress shows self-respect as well as respect for the occasion and the people around us. It demonstrates that we care about presenting ourselves decently to those who were once an important part of our lives.

Second, dressing is a form of self-expression. Regardless of age, dressing well and carrying ourselves with confidence boosts our self-image. It allows us to reflect our personality, mood, and values. More important, what we wear can influence how we feel and how we approach social situations.

For a high school reunion, people may want to dress in a way that reflects how they see themselves now, as well as how they’ve grown over the years.

Moreover, there's a psychological theory supporting the idea that dressing well can benefit seniors. The concept of "enclothed cognition" suggests that what we wear can affect our self-perception, mood, and even cognitive processes. For seniors, dressing well can evoke feelings of dignity, confidence, and vitality, positively impacting their mental and emotional well-being. Therefore, don't neglect your appearance as you age.

A Chinese saying captures this idea perfectly: "佛靠金装，人靠衣装" (fó kào jīn zhuāng, rén kào yī zhuāng)—"Just as the Buddha relies on gold adornment, people rely on clothing." This saying highlights that appearance matters and can impact how others perceive us, emphasizing the importance of dressing well, especially in social situations.

In the end, dressing well goes beyond aesthetics or impressing others. It reflects self-respect and honors our connections. Understanding the concept of "enclothed cognition," we can use our attire to boost confidence and vitality, enriching both our mental well-being and enjoyment of life.