Yanwen’s blog

We traveled to Brooklyn yesterday via New York Public Transit and will be here for a week. Inside the subway, I was reminded of our recent visit to the Museum of New York Transit. From the museum pictures, it felt as if not much had changed in the past century.

The NYC transit system, which began construction in 1900, is one of the oldest and most extensive in the world. It has played a crucial role in the city's growth and development, holding significant historical and cultural value. However, its age means much of the infrastructure is outdated and in dire need of substantial repairs and modernization.

My Korean student mentioned that many of her colleagues were shocked when they first experienced the NYC subway. They expected a modern infrastructure in a wealthy city like New York. In fact, many public transit systems in China are far more advanced compared to New York's.

According to my research, the world’s oldest metro system is the London Underground, which opened in 1863. The world’s longest metro network is the Beijing Subway, spanning 815.2 kilometers (506.5 miles). The world’s busiest metro system is the Shanghai Metro, with 2.83 billion annual trips.

The cost of maintaining and upgrading the NYC subway system is enormous, requiring strong government funding. My Korean student once asked why the wealthiest city in the world doesn't have the resources to modernize its subway system. I explained that it's a matter of prioritization.

Currently, New York City is grappling with more pressing issues than upgrading its infrastructure, such as the housing crisis, homelessness, high crime, and the need to provide shelter and food for a large number of migrants in recent years.

In the hustle and bustle of New York, with numerous visitors from around the world, the subway remains a vital lifeline for millions. It’s literally a living museum, carrying strong echoes of the past while navigating the challenges of the present.

As we ride these historic century-old relics, not without fear of their collapse, it’s a reminder that progress often comes at a cost. The future of the city’s transit will depend on how well the past can serve future passengers and how long it can run without meeting its end. When the system finally reaches its breaking point, it will undoubtedly become a top priority in NYC's budget.

I recently came across the heartbreaking news of a 30-year-old employee of China International Capital Corporation (CICC) who took her own life. Speculations abound regarding the factors leading to this tragedy: salary cuts, financial strain from mortgage obligations, losses due to housing depreciation in Shanghai, and the burden of postpartum depression.

This young woman had a remarkable past marked by outstanding academic achievements and significant experience in foreign exchange at work. Her life had been relatively smooth, void of hardships. And she harbored high aspirations for the future. She had never encountered substantial setbacks or experienced the unpredictability of life's ups and downs.

While there are many speculations about the specific event that may have been the tipping point, I believe the core issue lies in her psychological instability and fragility and lack of mental and psychological preparation for such challenges.

In reflecting on this tragedy, many Chinese sayings come to mind. I think we’re in a hard time now, no exceptions for most of us. In times like this, this saying captures the attitude and the spirit that we should have: 逢山开路，遇水架桥 (féng shān kāi lù, yù shuǐ jià qiáo) meaning: "If you meet a mountain blocking your way, dig a tunnel; if you encounter a river blocking your way, build a bridge."

This saying encourages us to face obstacles head-on with courage and creativity — whether by carving a path through mountains or building bridges over rivers. It speaks to the resilience needed to navigate life's hardships and the importance of finding constructive solutions.

Finally, this unfortunate event should remind us of the importance of mental health awareness and support in society. It calls for greater empathy and understanding towards those facing difficulties, urging us all to develop resilience and seek help when needed.

Wednesday a friend of mine from Kansas contacted me about her son's college application this coming fall.

The boy always got the highest grades in his school. But when I asked her about extracurricular activities, academic competitions, and summer internships, there wasn't much to mention. When I asked her about the kid's interest and passions, she knows none.

It turns out they live in a small town in Missouri, populated mostly by what she described as "red-neck folks." The school counselor is not very involved in students' academic futures, and the peer pressure in such an environment is not academically oriented.

When I asked why they didn't move to the Blue Valley school district, known for its excellent counselors and rich resources, she said she doesn’t want to be a tiger mom. She prefers a laissez-faire approach to parenting, describing herself as a "sheep mom."

I think she conflates two different things: (1) parenting style and (2) providing the best resources for her child. It’s perfectly acceptable to adopt a laissez-faire parenting style, allowing children the freedom to explore and discover their passions. However, it is a disservice to the child if we can provide more opportunities for exploration and discovery but choose not to.

Children born and raised in environments with limited resources are at a disadvantage compared to those with plenty.

This reminds me of another friend who moved to an apartment near Shawnee Mission East High School for her daughter. They previously lived in downtown Kansas City, an area with a high concentration of low-income workers and limited resources. The move, which doubled their rent, was worth it because their daughter thrived in the new environment, eventually attending college and becoming a senior manager at a company in Dallas.

Here’s another one. A study in the U.S found that children in poor families hear about 600 words per hour, while those in professional families hear 2,100 words. This gap accumulates to a difference of 30 million words by the time the children reach age 3, resulting in a huge disparity in cognitive development. Consequently, there later established the “30 Million Words Initiative” to encourage more communication between parents and children. The study underscores the importance of a rich growing up environment.

This situation brings to mind the story of Meng Mu, who moved three times for her son’s education, known as 孟母三迁 (Meng Mu San Qian).

The essence of it all is: it's not about being a tiger mom or a sheep mom; it's about ensuring the children have the best opportunities that we can provide to grow and succeed. By doing so, we can help them achieve their fullest potential without compromising their happiness.

Today is the Fourth of July. Yesterday, I noticed American flags hanging on some people's doors. Naturally, the flag brings to mind concepts like patriotism, independence, freedom from British rule, and other patriotic elements.

In my mind, patriotism shares some similarities with religion. Both rely on symbols, such as flags and religious icons, which people hold sacred, and rituals, like national anthems and religious ceremonies, through which they express their beliefs and values.

Both patriotism and religious belief often involve heavy emotional attachment and enthusiasm. People can feel a strong sense of pride, loyalty, and identity in their country or faith.

Moreover, both entail a certain level of blind or uncritical acceptance. With that, people embrace religious or national narratives or myths from authorities without question. While some criticize blind faith in religious doctrines, they should also see the same dose of blindness in patriotic fervor. Both religious and patriotic emotions can run amok, leading to extreme behaviors and uncritical acceptance of authority.

The extreme expression of patriotic fervor is nationalism, which can lead to aggression towards other nations, as in the case of Nazi Germany.

Patriotism is laudable in most cases. As we celebrate the Fourth of July, we should remember that being patriotic with critical thinking might prevent blindness.

Another thing happened yesterday. We went to Costco with a young couple and their brand-new baby. The baby boy reminds me of my son at that age.

Back then, we had a Jewish friend named Debra. Her husband was a visiting professor from Madison, Wisconsin. Debra's sister had tried but was unable to have a baby. One day, she looked at my son and said, “My sister would give a million for your beautiful baby. I’m serious.” We were living on graduate student TA stipends. I was working on my dissertation, but I wouldn't give up my baby for any amount of money.

This experience I want to share with my young friends: 前途是光明，道路是曲折 (qián tú shì guāng míng, dào lù shì qū zhé) – "The future is bright, but the road is full of hardships."

As we reflect on our national pride and personal journeys, it’s important to remember that both require perseverance, critical thinking, a clear head, and a strong sense of values. Just as the forefathers of this country fought for independence with hope and resilience, we too must navigate the complexities of life with wisdom and unwavering dedication to what truly matters in the long run. In the end, both our personal and national stories are better written by the challenges we conquer and the great personal qualities with which we confront them and embody.

Utica, a small city in New York, came into the international spotlight when the BBC reported, "Boy, 13, shot dead by New York police had replica gun, authorities say." This tragic event occurred at the end of June in Utica, NY, USA.

The significance of this incident in a small city is underscored by the fact that it drew attention from global news outlets like the BBC.

The victim, Nyah Mwa, was a member of the Karen ethnic minority community in Utica. This city, with a population of about 65,000, is home to nearly 8,000 people from Myanmar. Most of them came as refugees, fleeing their country to escape oppression. They are deeply grateful to the country that opened its doors to them. With that grateful mindset, they naturally tend to idealize American society.

Nyah's parents and three siblings are devastated beyond words. His sister said, “My brother was an outgoing kid who loved to be outside biking and playing with his friends and family. Our parents and grandparents did not flee war and a corrupt military to be persecuted by American police.”

This is undoubtedly a real tragedy. However, I doubt the police will face punishment for this. The officer was justified in chasing the boy, suspecting him to be involved in an armed robbery because he resembled the description of the criminal. The boy ran only to make things worse. Additionally, the shooting would likely be deemed self-defense, as the officer believed the boy was aiming a real gun at him.

This incident is reminiscent of Michael Brown's case in Ferguson, Missouri. In the end, the court ruled that the police officer acted in self-defense when he killed Brown.

Beyond the immediate tragedy, there is a deeper one rooted in the family's idealized view of American society and a lack of understanding of its realities.

First, law enforcement officers are not immune to racial profiling or bias. We have witnessed too many such cases recently.

Second, if a cop suspects you of any criminal activity, running away only increases their suspicion and intensifies the pursuit. The commonsense practice is to stop and raise your hands high.

Third, brandishing a toy gun at an officer is incredibly dangerous and literally invites lethal consequences. This is the last thing you should do. But that's exactly what the boy did before his death.

A fitting Chinese saying for this situation is "水土不服" (shuǐ tǔ bù fú), which literally translates to "unable to adapt to the local water and soil." This describes someone who is uprooted from the land and culture that nurtured and raised them and is struggling but fail to adapt to a new environment or culture. In the context of the Utica tragic incident, this saying captures the idea that Nyah Mwa's family, who fled from a war-torn country to the U.S., may not have been fully prepared for the cultural and societal differences they encountered, leading to devastating loss.

Most importantly, Nyah Mwa's death serves as a stark lesson for all immigrants to America: be prepared. It is crucial to learn about American culture and society and understand what they are in for and how to protect themselves when facing law enforcement officers.