Yanwen’s blog

Friday evening teaching English to a 6-year-old is not something I look forward to. Initially, there were issues with classroom behavior; she played with toys while I was talking, a sign of a lack of discipline.

After discussing this with her mom, she now behaves well and pays attention. However, she still doesn't seem to retain what I teach. For example, I teach her a word, and a minute later, she shows no trace of having learned it.

I remember before my son turned 5, I taught him 10 Chinese characters during dinner. He remembered them all the next morning during breakfast and soon could read simple Chinese picture books. Later, he lost interest, and I gave up. That's another story.

When I shared my current teaching challenge with someone, I was hoping for a solution. Instead, they remarked, "People are different. Some are just not smart enough to learn."

I don't want to draw that conclusion so early. Learning is more complicated than that. When I taught my son, I used both pictures and stories. For instance, with characters 快 (fast) and 慢 (slow), I drew two persons: one of a person called 快 and another called 慢. The second person, 慢, was slower because he carried two large pieces of luggage on his back. This visual approach seemed to fit my son's learning style well.

Perhaps I should try other learning styles with my young student. Currently, we rely entirely on auditory methods. It's essential not to draw conclusions too early without trying various approaches.

Moving forward, I'll explore different techniques, such as visual aids and storytelling, to see if they resonate better with her. Every student has the potential to learn; it’s just a matter of finding the right key to unlock their brains.

I have learned that teaching is also a journey of discovery for both the teacher and the student. The key is being patient and open to new approaches. I hope to foster a love of learning in my young student. I also hope parents could learn something from my experience. Whether it's through pictures, stories, or hands-on activities, I'll continue to try out the methods that help her shine, believing every child's mind is unique, and it's our job to find the best way to help them grow.

Today, I want to talk about two seemingly unrelated things. First, I recall the time when my son was a high school freshman. Twenty years have passed since then, and the term 青涩少年 (qīng sè shào nián) comes to mind. It means "green and astringent youth," referring to someone who is immature, naive, and inexperienced. While I miss that 青涩少年, I'm also glad to see he has transformed from that immature youth into the CEO of his own 10-year-old company, now employing over 120 people.

Witnessing his journey has been incredible. Both of us have entered new stages in our lives, finding unique meanings in our respective paths. I hope we continue our daily efforts and keep our eyes on the bright distant horizon.

The second topic is freedom. I often hear people talk about the immense freedom individuals enjoy in the U.S. They throw the word "freedom" around casually, as if they fully understand its depth.

Freedom comes in many dimensions. Countries like the U.S., with freedoms enshrined in their laws and constitution, provide a legal foundation for personal liberties, such as freedom of speech, assembly, and the press. These external freedoms create an environment where individuals can explore their potential and express themselves without fear.

However, true freedom is deeply rooted in one's thinking and independent spirit. Historical figures like Galileo Galilei and Nicolaus Copernicus exemplify this. They not only thought independently against external forces but also had the courage to uphold and fight for their beliefs, much like Martin Luther.

Forces limiting individual freedom also come in many forms, whether from the government, social norms, or conventional thinking. In countries with guaranteed external freedoms, those without a free spirit may still be mere mouthpieces of authority, being trapped by societal expectations, cultural norms, or personal insecurities.

Conversely, even in countries with limited political freedoms, individuals with a free spirit can achieve a sense of internal freedom through critical thinking and self-reflection. True freedom lies in the ability to think independently and live authentically, regardless of external circumstances.

Remember, living in a "free country" does not automatically grant you a free spirit. Without independent thought, one can be as restricted in mind as those living under overt oppression. The extreme case of people with free spirits can be found among those in the Nazi Auschwitz concentration camp. Despite facing unimaginable horrors, some individuals maintained their inner freedom and humanity, refusing to let their spirit be broken.

Reflecting on my son's journey and the broader concept of freedom, I am reminded that both personal growth and true freedom require courage, persistence, and a willingness to challenge the status quo and question crowd and conventional thinking.

Whether through personal experiences or philosophical exploration, the essence of true freedom is the same: it is about thinking independently and living authentically. As we continue on our journeys, let us remember to nurture our free spirits, embracing the challenges and opportunities that come our way.

The whole world is talking about last night’s presidential debate. But let’s stop watching other people’s car accident now.

As June comes to an end, it's hard to believe that nearly half of the year is already gone. Reflecting on the plans of my students, myself, and my daughter, I feel compelled to write something motivational. I recall a book I read some time ago, Principles: Life and Work by Ray Dalio.

Dalio discusses his principles as if he's presenting the ultimate truth, and while I am usually cautious of such definitive claims, his ideas are intriguing.

He outlines a 5-step process to achieve success in life and asserts boldly, "If you can do those five things well, you will almost certainly be successful." 

1. Goals – Have a clear idea of your goal.
2. Problems – Identify all the obstacles standing between you and your goal.
3. Diagnosis – Diagnose the root causes of these problems.
4. Design – Create a plan to solve these problems.
5. Execution – Implement the plan, whatever it takes.

Repeat the process again and again until you reach your goal.

During the planning stage, Dalio emphasizes thoroughly thinking through potential problems and their solutions, and visualizing the entire journey from where you are to where you want to be, like writing a movie script for your life.

The more detailed your plan, the better. It's like a hero's journey, with a clear destination at one end and a series of challenges to be conquered at the other.

To avoid getting bogged down in specific tasks and forget your epic story, you should revisit your plan from time to time. Besides your daily grind, keep your eyes on the bright distant horizon.

I'm going to apply these steps in the second half of the year and see how far I can get with the goals I've set for myself. I hope you will do the same.

As we approach the second half of the year, if you feel the need to reconnect with your New Year Resolution, perhaps you can also try applying these steps to achieve your goals and see how far they can take you. By diligently following Dalio's 5-step process and keeping our eyes on the horizon, we can hopefully transform our aspirations into reality. Remember, your journey is your story—make it a great one.

Yesterday, I came upon a powerful documentary film, "Say Her Name: The Life and Death of Sandra Bland." This film documents the events surrounding Sandra Bland's death.

On July 10, 2015, Sandra Bland was pulled over by the police for failing to signal a lane change, a minor traffic violation. During the interaction, Bland lit a cigarette. The police officer asked her to put it out. Bland asserted her right, saying, "I'm in my own car, I have the freedom to smoke." The officer responded, "I am now ordering you to get out of the car and put out the cigarette." Bland resisted, "You don't have the right to do that."

The officer, feeling challenged and seemingly energized by a need to assert authority, forcibly dragged Bland out of her car. She was arrested and subjected to brutal treatment and humiliation. Three days later, the young woman was found dead in her jail cell, having committed suicide.

The tragedy of Bland's death is, of course, very sad and a profound loss for her family. Her encounter with a police officer reminds me of one of mine. Once, I was driving on a street with a 25 mph speed limit. A police officer stopped me, saying, “You are driving over 40 mph.” I knew it was useless to argue with him, so I apologized profusely and explained how I was in a hurry to get my daughter to school, worried about being late for work and upsetting my boss, etc.

The kind police officer let me go with a gentle reminder to my daughter, “Young lady, make sure your mom leaves home earlier next time.” Phew, I just avoided another heavy fine! This is not the first time that I salvaged myself from the claws of law enforcement.

There is a Chinese saying, "吃软不吃硬" (chī ruǎn bù chī yìng), which means people respond better to gentle persuasion than to force. It's easier to disarm a fist with a smile than with a stronger fist.

It also reminds me of Aesop's fable, "The North Wind and the Sun." The two compete to see who can remove the clothes from a traveler. The harder the Wind blows, the tighter the traveler clings to his clothes. The Sun, on the other hand, succeeds by radiating warmth.

Both Chinese saying and Aesop's fable teach us that gentleness can often achieve better results than force or direct confrontation.

Sometimes, individuals are powerless and helpless. Therefore, when facing law enforcement officers, some of whom might be biased, perhaps the best self-defense mechanism is following Chinese wisdom and Aesop's Sun.

In reflecting on Sandra Bland's tragic story and my own experience, it's clear that the way we interact with authority figures can even have life-or-death consequence. While Bland’s encounter ended in a heart-wrenching tragedy, my own story shows how humility and understanding can sometimes defuse tension and save your skins.

In a world where we may sometimes feel powerless and out of our control, these stories remind us of the wisdom and strength in choosing empathy and patience. By adopting these approaches, we can hopefully resolve conflicts peacefully.

Finally, whether we draw from cultural wisdom or personal experience, the one take-home message is: the way we choose to respond to adversity and confrontation can make a world of difference.

Walking through Alley Pond, I often encounter groups of Asian women, and their attire often reveals their cultural backgrounds. Korean women, distinguished by their brand-name activewear and sporty shoes, exude an air of casual elegance rather than intense and serious physical activity. Their leisurely strolls and animated conversations resemble social gatherings more than sweaty exercise routines.

This observation led me to inquire about Korean cultural norms from my student. She chuckled and explained that in Korean culture, appearance matters even during physical activities. Whether it's a morning walk or a round of golf, Koreans value well-coordinated outfits as a means to maintain a polished appearance. They pay attention to what they wear and how they look even at home.

This emphasis extends beyond personal preference; it seems like a societal expectation, influencing how individuals present themselves in various settings. For instance, she told me, gifting an expensive jumper jacket to parents is not merely a gesture of affection but also a status symbol to be flaunted among peers. Like her parents would show off the jacket, saying "See my daughter bought it for me."

In contrast, Chinese cultural attitudes diverge significantly. Chinese women, especially 中国大妈 (Zhōngguó dàmā) Chinese Aunties, often value practicality over fashion, opting for functional attire even during exercise. Their brisk walks and focused conversations exude no-nonsense seriousness and pragmatism, emphasizing efficiency over outward appearance, substance over style, like telling people around "Here I come. Move out of my way." They'd rather indulge in culinary delights than luxury apparel.

Reflecting on these cultural disparities, I've gained a deeper appreciation for how societal norms and expectations shape everyday behaviors and even clothes. Beyond aesthetics, these choices embody broader cultural values of self-presentation and social interaction. We see a rich diversity within Asian cultures, which challenges stereotypes about appearance and consumerism across all Asians.

In conclusion, these encounters help broaden my cultural understanding and appreciation of the beauty of diversity in human appearances and expression.