Yanwen’s blog

Sunday evening, my Korean student told me, "I have been busy cleaning to get ready for the arrival of my in-laws. We have so much stuff that I have to decide what to keep, throw away, or donate. It is a really hard decision."

Her words reminded me of a Chinese saying I heard recently: 已饥方食，未饱先止 (yǐ jī fāng shí, wèi bǎo xiān zhǐ), which means "eat only when feeling hungry, stop before feeling full." This advice on moderation in eating can also apply to our accumulation of material possessions.

Both situations—having too much stuff and overeating—highlight a common problem in modern society: overconsumption. We often accumulate excessive material possessions and consume more food than we need, leading to cluttered homes, financial strain, and health problems.

The problem of overeating, driven by the availability of processed foods and high-calorie options, made worse by a lack of self-control, has led to an obesity epidemic in many societies. I think of one of my relatives in Beijing, who, after indulging in rich foods for decades, now suffers from diabetes, heart disease, colon cancer, and has had strokes. Many of my younger relatives already struggle with their weight problem and 3-high (b/p, cholesterol and glucose).

Similarly, consumerism encourages people to buy and accumulate more than necessary, creating physical and mental clutter. This culture of excess places a morbid focus on material wealth over personal well-being.

In the long run, this overconsumption is unsustainable environmentally. Just imagine the waste, pollution, and resource depletion resulting from our overconsumption!

The advice of eating only when hungry and stopping before full represents ancient wisdom about moderation and mindful consumption. It encourages people to develop healthy habits and avoid excess.

If people embraced this advice, many modern health problems could hopefully be mitigated and our planet would enjoy a better stewardship than what it does now.

Sunday evening, when I met my Korean student, she asked me to talk about the economic crisis. "Many people I know have lost their jobs," she said. "Things are so expensive now. We've tried to cut costs at every corner, like always cooking at home and not dining out."

We delved into the nature of capitalism and the American culture, exploring its inherent economic cycles of booms and busts and the emphasis on individual responsibility in times of crisis.

In the U.S., these cycles significantly impact people’s lives like you and me. However, the government, heavily influenced by capitalists whose primary interest is maximizing profit, resulting in prioritizing corporate interests over public welfare.

With this, America is still a great country to many people because it offers individuals maximum freedom. Here, you can pursue your interests as long as you stay within legal boundaries. That’s why entrepreneurs like Elon Musk and plenty of talents came to the U.S.

Also, the U.S. boasts wealth, a top-tier education system, a relatively just legal system, freedom of expression, and excellent public libraries. These factors attract many, including those from China.

However, these advantages come with trade-offs, especially in times of economic hardships. The way countries deal with crises varies due to their different systems and cultures. Despite being the wealthiest country in the world, the U.S. has one of the largest homeless populations among developed nations. This paradox arises from several factors: stark income inequality, inadequate social safety nets, its culture valuing extreme individual responsibility, and housing affordability issues.

In conclusion, while America offers unparalleled opportunities and freedoms, it also faces significant challenges in creating an equitable and harmonious society.

Today is 端午节. (Duānwǔ Jié), the Dragon Boat Festival in China. Enjoy the day!

Last Wednesday evening, my youngest sister and I talked for a long time. She mentioned that she couldn't enjoy school reunion gatherings because she couldn't relax when surrounded by many people. She is oversensitive to other people's judgments and comments. In fact, she can't recall ever having enjoyed herself in a big group.

She said, "I can't be like you. I know you enjoy going to these gatherings and meeting people. I'm most relaxed when I'm with family members." I reminded her, "You were not like this before. You used to have many friends and enjoyed being with them. What has happened?"

She agreed that she had changed and had been cocooning herself more and more inside her security shell. The more she dreads meeting people, the more she avoids it. That seems like a vicious cycle.

Is this what people call social anxiety or social phobia? I don't really know, but it bears some similarities.

First, those with social anxiety seem to care excessively about being judged by others, feeling embarrassed, losing face, or being humiliated. Second, social anxiety often develops over time, initially stemming from past negative experiences in social settings or past traumatic experiences.

Perhaps my sister began to change when we moved from Tianjin to Beijing during her teenage years. She told me she missed her Tianjin friends after the move. Perhaps she experienced rejections, and her self-confidence suffered a hit in the new social environment.

The fact that both of us have changed, almost as if we’ve exchanged places, demonstrates that social anxiety is not genetic in her case. Most importantly, it shows that change is possible.

I'm glad she has realized why she doesn't enjoy meeting people. "Your mind is too burdened with worries about what others think," I told her.

Our conversation made me reflect on the challenges many people face with social anxiety. Understanding and acknowledging these feelings is a crucial first step toward addressing them. By discussing it openly, we can help those who struggle to feel more comfortable in their own skin, and confident in social situations. I'm proud of my sister for recognizing her feelings, and I hope she can find ways to break out of her self-built cocoon and enjoy social interactions more in the future.

Finally, all this reminds me that we can't let the past experiences define us. It is up to us to choose how to react to our past. With understanding, support, and determination, anyone has the hope of overcoming social anxiety and rediscovering the joy of connecting with others.

Today I'm going to write something like a meta-blog, a reflection on one of my daily activities—writing. Surprisingly the thought behind is relevant to a lot more than writing.

Last year, I came across a phrase while I was involved with an online parenting group. It describes an issue faced by the second generation of immigrants: "自我身份认同" (zì wǒ shēn fèn rèn tóng), meaning "self-identity" or "self-identification." It encompasses how you perceive, identify, and define yourself—the sum of your beliefs, values, and ethnic and cultural background.

As a matter of fact, it's not just the second generation of immigrants who face this self-identity question. Take myself for example: I often think about this everyday -- how do I see myself when I’m writing? What do I identify myself as when I make my voice heard on the internet, sharing my thoughts, experiences, and interpretations of events with the world? Do I identify myself as a writer or more than a writer? What is the "more" part?

Self-identity is important in everything we do. What I identify myself as influences and determines what I write and how I write. Like everything else, writing is just an activity, a means to an end. The end is the identity that I see in myself and want the world to see in me.

Take another example: when you go to work every day, do you identify yourself as a 打工仔 (dǎ gōng zǎi), someone who works hard for other’s dreams or someone with his own dream?  Your self identity determines how you spend your time there. Different self-identity leads to different mindset and attitude.

What we identify ourselves as determines what we do online, be it writing or videoing. In today's world, where many seek internet celebrity status, continually reminding myself of my self-identity helps me stay anchored and focused, ensuring that my writing is authentic and meaningful. After all, an authentic voice should matter in the end.

Ultimately, self-identity shapes our actions, interactions, and expressions. By staying grounded in who we are, we bring a unique and genuine perspective to everything we do. For me, this means writing with integrity and purpose, making each piece not just a reflection of my thoughts but a testament to my true self. In a world where authenticity can often be elusive, staying true to my self-identity is respectful to both my readers and myself.

My sister and I recently talked about our father, who passed away before turning 58. There was a heavy cloud of sadness during our conversation. Someone once mentioned that I look more and more like my father, but we don't know how our father would have looked in his 60s or beyond.

We have been striving to live healthily and longer than he did. Now, all three of us siblings have reached age 60, but none of us has achieved the career heights that our father reached in his short 57 years.

It is amazing that a teenager boy walked out of his mountainous village and accomplished so much in his lifetime? Our father must have had something extraordinary in him that his children don't have. My sister said, "It is said that one family is blessed with one outstanding person once in a while."

My father lived through some special years in Chinese history. Each generation has its own unique challenges. My father met the challenges of his generation, and now, with his legacy guiding and motivating us, we are trying to meet the challenges of our era, even if we might not reach the same career heights he did.

My sister and I talked about how our father self-taught himself many subjects through reading and his passion for learning. Discussing this serves as a source of inspiration for us to pursue lifelong learning and strive for excellence in our own lives.

We are also aware that whatever we do today, we are creating a legacy for the next generation. Though we may not match the accomplishments of our father, we can still leave a unique legacy, just as he did.

Reflecting on our father's life and achievements helps us appreciate his fine qualities and the importance of perseverance, courage, learning and resilience. His legacy continues to guide us when we face our own trials and triumphs in life.

As we navigate our own journey, we honor his memory by striving to meet our challenges and keep generating value in our own way, ensuring that the good qualities he instilled in us endure for future generations.